
Wordless Wednesday – Sailor Moon Pink Plush Doll

Today is my 40th birthday!!!
I actually feel a bit of relief at hitting age 40. I think part of it is that I feel like I am finally starting to not care as much what others think of me. I’m over feeling inadequate and responsible if someone doesn’t like me or gets mad at me.
Also, I must admit that growing older appeals to me somewhat because I feel younger women are hypersexualized so much in our society and I was always uncomfortable with that.
The only major drawback I see is your physical body breaking down more and more with age. That kind of sucks, especially when you already have a bunch of health issues.
I’m honestly trying to figure out what direction I want to go with this blog. For a while I thought I wanted to focus mainly on living with chronic pain/mental illness, but I find that dwelling on all that too much actually tends to make me feel worse, not better.
So, I am thinking about focusing more on my hobbies, which include collecting toys and other cute things, thrifting, selling toys and collectibles (which I do on Mercari and Ebay if you want to check it out), jigsaw puzzling, and coloring art.
I’m still trying to figure it all out, and that is partly why I’ve been inactive much of the time. It’s hard to be on a journey when you are still trying to figure out which way you are going. Have any of you went through directional changes with your blog? How did it go? Were you glad you changed?
Ok, so I fell off the blogging wagon for a little bit (much of that due to migraines and other chronic pain flareups), but the good news is I haven’t fallen off the “trying to be healthier” wagon. I’m still trying to exercise whenever possible (swimming or cycling on good days, doing some light aerobics or walking on so-so days, and taking bad flareup days off).
Lately I’ve gotten into doing at home aerobic dance videos by the Fitness Marshall, which I would highly recommend. He is hilarious and very encouraging to all kinds of people, not just fitness buffs. I love how he uses plus size demonstrators as well!
I am still trying out LDN (low dose naltrexone) for my chronic pain, migraines, and inflammation. It hasn’t been a magic bullet, but may be helping some. I’m on a very low dose (1.5mg). I’ve tried the 3mg and 4.5mg doses, but they actually seemed to make me feel worse. I’m looking for good OTC supplements or meds to use for my migraines, so if you know of any good ones, please share! I can’t take Excedrin or Tylenol Migraine most of the time because the caffeine seems to upset my stomach a lot.
Feeling a little discouraged today about the whole getting healthy thing. This always happens when I try to change my bad habits. At first I’m all gung ho, ready-to-change-the-world optimism, but normally after a little bit of time, the excitement starts to fade and then when the pain gets bad or chronic illness creeps up on me again, I start feeling like it is hopeless and that nothing I do does any good.
I AM NOT giving up, but just wanted to be honest about where I’m at right now. Yesterday was a bad IBS day, so I spent most of the day in bed and having to be super careful about what I eat. Today hasn’t been much better. Also, am dealing with low level migraine symptoms and still having significant pain in my injured hand. If it isn’t better by tomorrow, the doctor wants me to get more xrays, and at this point it is hard to believe it will be better by then.
Lastly, It is raining today, so most of my favorite exercise activities aren’t as attractive 😦