I was a paranoid kid…is that normal?

Tonight I’ve been thinking about what a paranoid kid I used to be. I started thinking about the subject when 3 of my cats started acting totally crazy tonight. For some reason they are agitated, anxious messes and seem to think there is something scary in one area of the house, even though I see nothing there. It was starting to creep me out a bit since I am the only adult awake in the house right now. So those thoughts brought back childhood fears and paranoid delusions. Now I am wondering is every kid the freaked out mess I was? Here are a few examples:

  • As a kid I firmly believed that Satan lived under my bed. I have no recollection of where this idea came from, but it was firm. If I happened to have an arm or a leg hanging over the edge of the bed at night, I believed that was an invitation to Satan to grab hold of me and pull me under into Hell. Even after all these years, I still find myself unconsciously trying to keep from having an arm or leg dangle off the bed
  • I also believed that at night three witches would meet in my room to brew potions and cast spells. As long as they thought I was asleep, I thought I would be safe, but I knew if they noticed I was awake, they would have to kill me.
  • One of my childhood friends (I can’t remember who) told me that Freddy Krueger could get to you through the bath tub drain. His metal hand would come up and slice you to death right in the tub. For that reason I was super scared to take a bath for a while.
  • Then there were my dreams. One of a group of nuns abducting me, tying me up and sewing my mouth shut so I couldn’t scream. Another of Jesus visiting and turning into Satan right before my eyes. The one where my mom and dad were getting married in my grandparents’ yard and Satan showed up, wrapped his cape around them and took them to Hell in a fiery exit. And last, but not least, the great cosmic dream where God and Satan fought a major battle over my living room coffee table (apparently it was their biggest fight to date for some reason). Can you tell yet, that I seemed to have a childhood obsession with Satan for some reason? Maybe it was because my grandfather was a hellfire and brimstone preacher…honestly, I really don’t remember why I feared Satan so much.

So what do you think? Was I extra-neurotic as a kid or are these pretty common fears among children? What were your weird fears as a kid?

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4 thoughts on “I was a paranoid kid…is that normal?

  1. A lot of my nightmares (and night terrors) and fears revolved around my family and friends not listening to me and then being killed. I really didn’t have fears about myself being hurt or killed — my being hurt was a daily reality — but I firmly believe my dreams and fears were related to the fact that my family did nothing and I was sure my friends would do nothing either if I told them what had happened and what was happening. These nightmares still happen from time to time generally when I feel like my speaking out is not getting a helpful reaction but the more I speak out and stand up, the less they happen.

    Do you still have these fears?

    • I don’t still have the same fears I had as a kid. Most of my fears now are more like yours were. I am most afraid of losing another loved one, especially my husband or mom. I also fear death, but not because of death itself, but because I’m not sure how it will feel physically to actually die. I hope you don’t feel much near the end. I am excited to see what lays beyond death though and I certainly hope to see my passed loved ones and Jesus or angels meet me when I die. I don’t want to go into the next world all alone.

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