Video: My Experiences with Emotional Pain or Abuse from a Church or Religion

Hi everyone! I wanted to share this video I made recently for my Spiritual Agnostic YouTube vlog channel, in the hopes that perhaps others who have experienced similar things or even much worse, might find some comfort and strength in knowing they aren’t alone and that it is possible to heal and move on from things like this. In no way did I make this video to be mean or vengeful, but just to express my own process of growth and learning through these experiences.

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Hi! I am an artist, author, and blogger who also happens to have Asperger’s Syndrome. I have won several awards and honors for my writings and artwork. I suffer from a few severe mental illness and chronic pain conditions (Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, Fibromyalgia, CFS/ME, Ehlers Danlos, Degenerative Disc Disease, etc.), which greatly affects my life and makes me want to advocate for others going through similar things. Other interests of mine include reading, writing, drawing, watching cartoons and movies, collecting toys, hanging out with my family, and annoying my 3 cats.

5 thoughts on “Video: My Experiences with Emotional Pain or Abuse from a Church or Religion”

  1. Hey! I wanted to comment on your video about how you felt hurt by your church. I have felt the same way about a church I went to for years. I had 2 breakdowns at church and I really believe people judged me after that. My daughter was sick, my brain is sick, and I got caught up in the fear of hell. But I do believe I needed to step away from that church at the time to have my “faith” restored. I have always believed in God and at the beginning of that journey it was something I was taught to do. It was easy to do because I have to say as a child I had a great experience in the church environment with camps and VBS. But as an adult I see this particular denomination as very legalistic. They don’t preach a lot of New Testament unconditional grace and love of Jesus. It seems to be a more of God is a “punish you if you do wrong” thing. I have found peace with God by separating myself from all religions, denominations. The reason I say God is because He has made Himself evident in my life through the miracles of answered prayers and healing. And it is by faith Him and in how I feel that He is compelling me to the reason I am in recovery with Bipolar Disorder/Major Depressive Disorder. I totally get your feelings though I have experienced them myself. And even though I think of the faces of some of the people and the way their hearts were good towards me before all of my mental stuff it is somewhat helpful. I still experience those emotions of hurt and anger though. I wished I didn’t and maybe that’s a prayer I need to pray that I could replace those hurtful emotions with more grace and forgiveness. I listen to a song called “My Church” by Maren Morris and that’s how I feel about going to church right now. I think it is sad that so many people are not more empathetic towards certain issues and people. But I am learning I have to let it go. I want to do that for my own sanity. And even with my illness sometimes my perception of things and people becomes distorted because of the very emotions I may be feeling at that time. Your video gave me insight into how I have to look at them with love, because they need it more than I do if what I am perceiving about being judged is really true. A lot of people have been hurt by the “church” I think if there wasn’t an actual building that we go to maybe we would see people as people instead of church people. I don’t know. Thanks for sharing! I’m trying to gain insight into my own experience for me to do the right thing and do what gives me peace and shows love.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m sorry to hear that you experienced this kind of pain too. I do feel like as time has gone on I’ve healed more from it, but I still don’t think too highly of organized religion. I tend to think more in terms of spirituality than religion nowadays, which I think a lot of people do when they have been hurt by the church. I’m not sure what I actually believe so far as a specific God existing or not existing, but I do feel that there is much in this world that is a mystery.


  2. I’m so sorry about your sister by the way. I just came across this video and I had posted a blog earlier today about how I’m glad I didn’t commit suicide. I thought that wasn’t coincidental that you talked about that in this video. I hope my post doesn’t make you sad. Again I’m sorry for your loss. I lost a brother in a car accident when I was 16. I know the feelings of loss of a sibling.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You didn’t make me sad at all. I’ve actually done a lot of healing about the situation with my sister, not that it doesn’t still hurt, but I’ve learned to deal with the pain much better as time has gone on. I still miss her a lot, but I am glad she isn’t suffering, because she experienced an immense amount of suffering in her short life, much of it totally beyond her control.


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