Bad Depression

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I’ve been really struggling with depression lately. And I mean really struggling. Like, can’t get out of bed struggling. Like sleeping more than half the day struggling. Even when I do finally get out of bed, I often find myself back in bed soon after, lying there staring at the wall and the ceiling for unlimited amounts of time. I do still have an appetite at least, but I think a lot of that is the meds, which make me hungry almost all the time. Of course, sometimes with depression I do tend to comfort eat as well. So along with the desire to do absolutely nothing, I am also plagued with anxiety about gaining weight from being hungry all the time. I don’t see the doctor again until the day after Christmas, so I am just having to muddle through the best I can, but it is really hard. I feel like I am constantly fighting just to function at all. Even washing my hair or brushing my teeth seems too much for me most of the time and I have to force myself to do it. This level of lethargy is ridiculous, and sometimes I wonder how I’m alive at all.

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11 thoughts on “Bad Depression

  1. Sorry to hear this, Maranda. Do you think the depression itself is partly an effect of these particular meds? Knowing just a little bit about what you go through from what you’ve shared, I’m floored by your courage and perseverance (and those are certainly not the only inspiring things about you!). If depression was the kind of thing I could talk you out of, I’d write a long post trying to do that, but it almost never is, so I’ll refrain! But I’m praying you’ll be touched by at least some sources of joy and hope in these days.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Landon. I have wondered if these meds maybe aren’t the right ones for me. Like I said though, I don’t see the doctor until the day after Christmas, so I kind of have to deal with it until then. I do appreciate the prayers, it certainly can’t hurt!

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