Well, today has been a really shitty day 😦 I only got about 2-3 hours of sleep last night, even with my Seroquel. Something happened last night that really upset me and made me just want to run away. Unfortunately, I have nowhere to run to.
Today I decided to go to a local park with a dam. I knew it would be crazy there with all the recent rain and snow, and felt that maybe seeing the turbulence roaring inside me portrayed in front of me might make me feel somehow better:
Even way above the dam, and behind a fence, the water was so violent that I got splashed pretty good. You can’t see it in the photo below, but my pants were much wetter than my jacket. Even my hair got a little bit soaked by the spray:
I was crying a good bit of the time I was there, just from all the stuff going on inside me, and I think one poor guy thought I was going to jump in. He came over and started telling me horror stories about people who had jumped in and died. One was truly sad about a family dog that fell in, so the mom jumped in to save it, and the dad jumped in to save her, so the two kids watching behind the fence watched all three of them drown. Such a horrible story. It made me forget my own pain for a little bit and feel empathy for those poor kids.
Maranda Russell 
Oh dear, seems like that story could potentially have the opposite effect and make someone feel even worse…
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Yeah! Not the most uplifting, is it?
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Oh that is so heartbreaking .. I guess sometimes we don’t have it as bad as others…
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Truly!
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I hope you know what I meant or was trying to say didn’t mean you had it so easy I know your struggles and know how hard it is for you I was just trying to say you got this one step at a time . 🙂
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I didn’t take it badly at all! I do honestly feel so much for those kids, I do often try to think of others who have it worse than me to get me out of a state of self pity. It does help.
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Oh okay good I like you a lot so I didn’t want it to come off as offensive . Yeah I think that way at times when I need to get myself out my state of pity…
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Nature is one of the best therapies to access and sharing it with fellow bloggers and people who can empathise is a very close second Maranda. Keep writing and sharing and hopefully finding that the space to run away to is right there in the tip of your pen!!
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Thank you so much! I’m glad you got so much out of this post 🙂
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