Dysfunctional Family: My Mom Married My High School Friend

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Ok, so in the past I already wrote a more serious post about the trauma I experienced when my mom ended up marrying the first guy I ever brought home (read it here). He was a friend of mine, two years older, going to the same high school. They got married on his 18th birthday, so there I was, 15-16, going to school WITH my new “step-dad”.

Yesterday, while my husband and I were out driving, I talked about how isolated I feel in dealing with the after-effects of this whole ordeal. I can find plenty of people who have experienced other things I have gone through or live with (autism, bipolar, chronic pain/illness, loss of a sibling to suicide, loss of a parent at a young age, physical and emotional abuse, etc.), but I have never ONCE found someone who understands the public humiliation and the just outright fucked-up-ness of their parent MARRYING a friend that they go to high school with (and even considered dating at one time)!

Maybe I would have to visit the Jerry Springer show to find something similar. I feel like no one understands how this whole event derailed my life severely at the time. I went from being a straight A, college bound honor student, to skipping school more than I went, and not caring about much of anything. It was a horrible time in my life. To make matters worse, when my mom’s messed up marriage finally blew up, it was shortly after I got married (at the age of 20), and since she had no resources of her own, I felt like I had to take her in, which was not an easy decision for a newlywed to make, especially given the messed up history between my mom and me.

I’m not sharing all this to look for pity, but more in the hopes that maybe someone, somewhere, has gone through something similar and could make me feel less alone. I think this whole ordeal made me feel like a real freak at the time it happened, and never finding anyone who could relate only reinforced that feeling.

*By the way, if you are looking for online therapy options, BetterHelp is a great place to start!

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7 thoughts on “Dysfunctional Family: My Mom Married My High School Friend

  1. I wish I could offer you what you asked for, but I’m afraid all I have is advice of the easier-said-than-done variety. For whatever it may be worth:

    Try consoling yourself with the thought nobody is “normal”. Really, there is nothing freakier than a “normal” person. Everyone has things that make them special. That episode with your mom marrying a guy you dated is just one of yours.

    Hope that’s useful!

    😊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thinking of you. My brother’s friend had something similar happen to her. About 20 years ago, she was badly injured in a car accident and, when she came out of her coma, her mother was dating her boyfriend. Not only did she have to learn how to walk, talk, eat etc. again, she had to learn how to trust again…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, wow! That might be even worse than what I went through! Such betrayal! At least the guy my mom married wasn’t actually my boyfriend, we never kissed or anything like that thank god. If you want to send her the link to this post, I would love to hear from her. Maybe we could commiserate!

      Liked by 1 person

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