I Refuse to Be a Social Media Doormat!


Yesterday I had to make a choice to unfriend someone on Facebook, a choice that I hate to have to make, but am finding more necessary as time goes on. The person I ended up unfriending was an editor and small publisher I had worked with in the past, so there was a little bit of sadness at the loss of a professional relationship as well as a personal one, but to tell the truth, this person had always come across as rude, selfish, and impatient…so have I really lost all that much?

As I am getting older, I am just getting to the point that I am tired of being the kindly doormat that lets others walk all over me because I have a desperate desire to please everyone. I don’t at all mind people who have different opinions and beliefs than I do, in fact, I hope we can learn from one another, but when someone repeatedly shows a clear cruel streak and lack of empathy or compassion for others who are suffering greatly, it pisses me off. I also find it extremely hypocritical when someone throws a fit every time someone criticizes their viewpoint, but they refuse to even listen to any other point of view but their own, even going out of their way to silence any reasonable objection.

Sometimes I think that maybe all the therapy is helping me, because at one time I would have stressed greatly over unfriending someone because I would feel bad about it. But this time, I honestly only feel relief that I won’t have to be a witness to the negativity and mean-spirited vitriol anymore.

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Hi! I am an artist, author, and blogger who also happens to have Asperger’s Syndrome. I have won several awards and honors for my writings and artwork. I suffer from a few severe mental illness and chronic pain conditions (Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, Fibromyalgia, CFS/ME, Ehlers Danlos, Degenerative Disc Disease, etc.), which greatly affects my life and makes me want to advocate for others going through similar things. Other interests of mine include reading, writing, drawing, watching cartoons and movies, collecting toys, hanging out with my family, and annoying my 3 cats.

25 thoughts on “I Refuse to Be a Social Media Doormat!”

  1. That was a huge step for you and I commend you for writing about it! You stood up for yourself! Nobody needs to tolerate constant negativity or mean spirited people. I’m very proud of you my friend. ☺💛

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Ok, I love this blog! I made a few posts about this very topic. I added a lot of people from facebook from the past. For some reason they made me real anxious and I don’t know; they weren’t rude or anything but were not responsive to my posts and I was feeling ignored. I unfriended the; just like you do did and it was painful but after a few days I felt better; free. So I unfriended everyone that never responded to my posts or people I didn’t know well. Since I did I feel much much better. We have control over who we add on social media and if someone gives you a bad feeling; maybe you don’t need to be friends them. Thank you so much for this post; I really enjoyed reading it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Some times we have to unfriend people on Facebook. I usually go one step further and block that person. Gone for good that way. Proud of what you did to free yourself. Keep that approach to protect yourself from those people.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sorry, I sent my message before I finished it …
    2/2 I remember unfollowing someone on Twitter. It’s a very positive step. Why should we have to put up with people thinking they’re better than us? And being unkind? I’m pleased for you 🙌👍

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m so glad you took that step. I’m still a huge people-pleaser and I get anxious when I’ve even slightly disturbed a social relationship of any kind. Here’s something I can learn from you! Thanks for the inspiration 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Totally agree. I used to not be on FB, Twitter & Co until I really started my blog to get the message on bullying out that is so epidemic in the workplace. But I am finding social media a scary place the more I use it. I was openly attacked yesterday on another person’s blog because I asked a question about something on a competition they put on.

    My question was taken as an opinion. The blogger than created a whole page calling it a rant, and openly attacked me and gathered other bloggers on her side (to me that bordered on cyber bullying), But I was even okay with her open rant, what I was not ok with was that she must have blocked me, because I was not able to comment on her page to defend myself.

    I then made the mistake a posted a response on my blog with the message at the end that I will delete soon as I don’t want more poison on my blog. I deleted last night.

    But, maybe I am too new to this, as blogging is still a new thing for me and I am not a great fan of FB, Twitter etc. I only reluctantly do it in hope as many people as possible read my story and the story of others that I have linked on my site.

    And I am really feeling the anxiety of a hostile online “society” and the lack of courage of some people who gather a group behind to attack ONE person. I am getting to understand the terrible way many children, young people and people in general have when they experience cyber bullying.

    One of the other bloggers who is mental health professional of all things, but who sided with the ranter was even following me, but then openly requested for me to shut the f… up. And I thought, what is the matter with people? She must have read my response to the rant because she has un-followed me. I chose not to “kick her out”, because everyone is welcome on my blog and has to make the decision for themselves if they want to continue to follow me or not.

    But I certainly stopped following her as soon as I read her hypocritical response on the rant.

    So, I find the online world very scary to be honest with you. And it is important that people stand up for each other in a positive way, not a bullying way.

    Sorry for this long entry, but I am having an anxiety day today.

    Keep sharing, and everybody put your heads up!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m really sorry to hear that you are going through this. I’ve never had something like that happen to me with blogging or vlogging, but I have seen it happen to others and while I am one to normally try to stay out of the fray, especially if I don’t know the whole story, I do find myself feeling bad for anyone that seems to be ganged up on.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you for your thoughts. Yes, it was a first for me to be ranted about, and I am on online forums for years. And again, the rant itself wasn’t even the problem, it was the cowardliness to not have been given the opportunity to explain or defend my comment. I probably even came across too opinionated as the person took my question as an opinion. I would have even apologized, and did in my response to the rant, but I also took a strong stand against this kind of “communication”. Rant for heaven’s sake, but have the guts for the person you rant against to be able to defend themselves.

        I wanted to leave my reply on my blog for a week or so before deleting, but decided to delete on the same day a few hours later. But I did ask in my response that I don’t wish for anyone who likes my post to click “like”, as I don’t want to get down on that level of grouping, as I can stand on my own two feet. But it still wasn’t a pleasant experience and it does bring a lot of questions and some anxiety on online community in general.

        If I wasn’t so passionate about the subject of bullying to spread my own message (and I rant a lot against a Goliath), if this wasn’t my life’s “mission” so-to-speak, I wouldn’t even be on FB, Twitter and most probably not here, although since last year my blog was mainly about my brother who died. I transferred that to another website in more detail as I want to make people aware of systematic bullying, in particular in the workplace.

        Thank you for you kind words. Keep making a stand, even if just by un-following toxic situations.

        Liked by 1 person

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