I’m not in a good place right now. I wish I was, but I’m not. For the past couple months, I have been struggling off and on with what almost feels like a new low level of depression. Half the time I can’t stop crying, and half the time I feel almost absolutely nothing. I swing between numbness and despair, with a few almost decent days thrown in here and there. This may sound strange, but I am even too depressed to entertain suicidal thoughts. I just can’t think that far ahead right now or drum up the energy to make a decision like that.
There seems to be no rhyme or reason. For several days I may be weepy and lethargic, skipping meals without even meaning to, and only finding comfort from burrowing in a pile of heavy blankets or laying on our swing outside. Then out of the blue, I might have a decent day where I can get myself showered, dressed, and actually get a few chores done or do a little shopping…but the very next day, I’m likely to be right back huddled up on the bed or the couch.
I guess the only good news is that today is my appointment with my psychiatrist, and I am praying he takes me off the Prozac and can get me onto an antidepressant that will actually work again, because the current cocktail of medications doesn’t seem to be cutting it anymore.
Maranda Russell 
8 responses to “Not in a Good Place Right Now”
I hope you get your medication worked out soon. In the meantime I wish you courage, strength, hope, peace, friendship, and good humor.
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Thanks.
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I hope you get the right medication. One step at a time .
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Thanks, I really appreciate your thoughts.
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I know you wrote this a while back and with any luck, the skies have brightened for you in the meantime, but I just wanted to say that my heart is with you 💞💐
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Aw, thanks so much. I am doing better now, even though my anxiety has been really high due to an upcoming oral surgery this Friday.
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I completely understand 😘💖. I’m anxiety-prone and I’ve had to undergo lots of intense dental procedures. You’re not alone, my lovely 💞💞. You will get through this! The anxiety is worse before, and then you can just focus on healing after. This will pass, into your rearview mirror forever 😘😘🌷
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PS my thoughts are with you! Best of luck to you. Hugs! 🤗💓
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