My Mother Helped a Guy to Stalk Me

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Lately I’ve been dealing with a lot of resentment and anger towards my mother. To explain why, let me share a specific incident that kind of illustrates why I am upset.

When I was 14/15, my mother worked with a guy named Danny who met me and developed a huge crush on me. He was in his late teens or early twenties, but was definitely an adult already. I DID NOT share his romantic interest and made that plain. I had absolutely no interest in dating him or getting to know him better. He bought me an expensive bracelet as a gift, which I immediately returned to him to make it clear I wasn’t interested.

Even with my mother knowing how I felt and that I was stressed out by the attention, she actually egged him on in spite of how I felt or what I wanted. She even gave him our home address and told him when I would be home. So, he ended up coming to my house while I was there alone and banged on the door and called my name for what felt like forever. He yelled about how he knew I was home because my mom had told him so. I never answered the door or responded to his calls. In fact, I hid in the closet because I was scared at the aggressiveness he was displaying.

I felt like I was being stalked, and worst of all, my own mother was encouraging it. This is just one small incident that portrays an issue with boundaries and respecting my privacy that was even more disturbing in other ways which perhaps I will share someday if and when I am ready to do so. I know it might sound odd, but I almost have a feeling like my mother WANTED to whore me out for some reason. I can’t even describe what that did to me psychologically.

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29 thoughts on “My Mother Helped a Guy to Stalk Me

  1. I wrote a thing. And I put it on my blog. In response to the whole.. stalker dude and her role in that.
    My mum once kicked me out of the house when I was in year 8 at school. And then left the country to meet up with her online boyfriend in the US. Not comparing “who had the worse mum”, we really had shitty abusive mothers. And we’re the result of them… doing their thing. I LIKE to think people mean well, and don’t see the mess they make when they help. But I know that there are also people who see their mess, and don’t care. And there are others who see the mess that they’ve made… and take pleasure in doing that to others…

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This post caught me off guard. It’s terribly sad and upsetting that the place you were to feel safest in the world, your home, and the person who should have made you feel like you were home no matter where you were, displayed this type of behavior. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I had some pretty, actually totally awful, experiences at the hands of my parents too so I get the betrayal. Sending you hugs and thank you for sharing, please know you are aren’t alone. 🌸

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much for being so kind and understanding. I keep a lot of stuff inside, but sometimes I just want to let it out. I feel like telling my story is healing in a way, even if it is just sharing little vignettes like this.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. This sounds like something my own Mom would’ve said. She was extremely loud and outgoing, she talked to anyone and everyone and didn’t see it as a big deal. I had severe Social Phobia/Anxiety from a very young age but wasn’t diagnosed until later in life. She would push and push not knowing the damage she was causing. My Mom always thought she was “helping” me until she finally noticed that I was throwing up and dry heaving before school every single day. Then she noticed my leg was never still, I always disappeared during family events, it took her awhile to put it together. My Dad knew right away because he had been the same as a child but in the 70’s no one talked about it. I don’t know your story but I’m hoping it wasn’t done in a malicious way. Nothing hurts more than a betrayal by those who are suppose to protect us.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I do think part of it was her own twisted way of “helping” me by trying to force me out of my shell, but in the long run it just did more damage. There is a lot more to the story though, and I’m sure not all of it was in my best interest unfortunately.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I understand all too well about other people’s good intentions. I’m sorry you were hurt and actually traumatized by the situation. I would have been too. I never liked it when teachers or relatives tried to force me to participate when I was clearly uncomfortable. I’m so happy my nephew’s School are against forcing children who are shy or introverted to do anything they don’t want to. They have access to a counselor at all times and designated areas where they can sit when they feel the need to talk to an adult or another child their age. I never had children but constantly worry about my twin sister’s boys being made fun of or bullied like I was.

        Liked by 1 person

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