Birthday Party Anxiety


Today is my husband’s birthday. At his work (he teaches special education), they are holding a special party for him this afternoon and his coworkers reached out to invite me. I am going to go, but I must admit I am nervous. I’ve never actually met his coworkers since they are fairly new, so that is a little intimidating to me (having to meet them all at one time).

For some reason, I am super nervous about having to go to the office to check in as a guest…I know I am 35 years old and it is kind of ridiculous to be nervous about something so simple, but I am what I am. I am also worried about the drive, because it is about a 40 minute drive and that is way out of my comfort zone as far as driving goes.

I must admit when I first heard about the party, my first instinct was to say I couldn’t make it. Anxiety is a powerful force. But in the end, my love for my husband won out and I want to be there for him more than I want to be comfortable or free from anxiety. I guess love is an even more powerful force…

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Hi! I am an artist, author, and blogger who also happens to have Asperger’s Syndrome. I have won several awards and honors for my writings and artwork. I suffer from a few severe mental illness and chronic pain conditions (Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, Fibromyalgia, CFS/ME, Ehlers Danlos, Degenerative Disc Disease, etc.), which greatly affects my life and makes me want to advocate for others going through similar things. Other interests of mine include reading, writing, drawing, watching cartoons and movies, collecting toys, hanging out with my family, and annoying my 3 cats.

44 thoughts on “Birthday Party Anxiety”

  1. Love is the greatest force of all. It brings light to dispel the angst and anxiety and any form of darkness when we keep our focus on it. Focus on that love for your husband, the celebration of his birth in this world just to be with you. Love helps us believe, it heals what needs to be healed in every single second, of every single minute, of every single hour within one’s day. Let that love shine through you while you drive and arrive and light up his day!

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  2. I am way over 35 of age and I still have deep anxiety when it comes to social gatherings or socialization in general. I feel bad and guilty each an every time anxiety knocks at my door. Some people say anxiety is not the fear or having to do something, but the fear of missing something else. Some people say anxiety comes with an artistic/creative/ sensitive personality. Some people say anxiety comes with shy and insecure personalities. Anxiety in small doses is healthy. I have learned to compromise and to take in only what I can take in. I don’t force myself to be like others. I am not a “small talks” person and that’s okay. I don’t like parties and that’s okay. But, at the same time, as you said, love pushes me into situations I don’t want to experience and I have to like parties and small talks. anxiety is still there, but if I do a little bit of everything without forcing myself to be someone else, anxiety does not destroy me. So baby steps and love….yes…be kind to yourself and to your anxiety…take in only what you can take in and breath…breath life! We are alive for a reason..a beautiful reason.

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  3. A few pointers:

    1. Don’t say anything stupid.
    2. Don’t do any magic tricks.
    3. Don’t tell any political jokes.
    4. Don’t tell any dirty jokes.
    5. Don’t tell any jokes where the punchline requires you to “walk like a penguin”.
    6. Don’t try to be inspirational.
    7. Don’t sing. Definitely don’t sing any inspirational songs.
    8. Don’t stand near any body who might start dancing.
    9. DON’T DANCE!
    10. If you do dance, don’t dance with your arms up in the air. But DON’T DANCE!

    Just be yourself and have fun!


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  4. INKNPAPER85046788, I am enlighted! Really. My 25 year old son fits the description of social anxiety that you give. I never understood it and have been disappointed by the way he really eschews attention, especially for birthdays. But maybe I get it a little bit! I was perhaps somewhat that way when younger. At 53 I like attention occasionally. I have anxiety, but it’s generalized anxiety. I’m pretty sure that the social anxiety is gone. I noticed a difference way back when I went on an antidepressant. That was just me. I guess I’m babbling, as I am wont to do. But I thank you for the insight!

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    1. My anxiety started in high school. It was the wrong school for me, but I wanted to please my father. Same with college. Same with other things that happened in my life. Anxiety knocks at my door when my instinct says NO! and my brain and the people around me say YES! My anxiety comes from doing things I am forced to do, not only forced to do by others, but often forced to do by myself. Yes, people with no anxiety or with healthy anxiety do not understand why I am the way I am. Attention is okay, but only if I know the people around me. To make my long blah blah blah shorter, I always said YES when I should have said no. And finally, even if at times I still hate myself for saying no, I say NO and I don’t care if by saying No I will look weird or different. I want to be kind to myself and to experience life through my eyes, heart, and soul, rather than through the lives of others. Anxiety comes when we want to be someone we are not.

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  5. I’m so glad you decided to go. Stretching our boundaries is the first step in getting out of the comfort zone. Trust me on this, I know. Let us know how much fun you had, and Happy Birthday to your hubby!! 🎂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Happy birthday to your husband; I had one last week and my parents took my out to dinner tonight. That is good that is in the special education field; I want to go into the field as well. Anyways I totally understand your anxiety; I have such trouble meeting new people but I think you’ll find that some of them will be just as nervous as you. A lot of people feel uncomfortable at those get togethers. All I can is just try and breath and focus on person you are comfortable with. You can do it

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    1. It is probably hard to explain to someone who has never had anxiety, but I actually have somewhat of a panic disorder reaction. Anxiety can give me panic attacks and cause me to lose control of my emotions and reactions. I think a lot of it has to do with PTSD. Too many years of constantly being in the fight or flight response growing up.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That makes more sense to me, I know a few people with PTSD. Yes, I was just trying to understand anxiety. Sorry you had to experience that. I do enjoy your blog – life experiences, honest and just full of truth.

        Liked by 1 person

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