Complicated Mother’s Day

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Mother’s Day always creates such a barrage of mixed emotions for me. There was a lot of trauma, abuse, mental illness, and foolish decisions that marked my childhood. My mother was far from a perfect parent. Luckily, she does admit to that and seems to be really trying to be a better person now, but being around her always triggers so many memories, thoughts, and feelings – some good, some bad, some funny, and some tragic.

I think part of the issue is that my brain has a tough time seeing how she acts towards me now and reconciling it with memories of how my sister and I were treated while growing up. I do believe in forgiveness (within reason), and I do love my mother, but I doubt there will ever be a day in her company that doesn’t create confusion for me internally.

I write this post today to recognize those of us who struggle on Mother’s Day to even know how to feel…

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17 thoughts on “Complicated Mother’s Day

  1. I have two adopted grandchildren that had an abusive and traumatic past with their biological mother. It is so unfortunate and it affects them still today. They are sisters, ages twelve and thirteen. Thank you for posting this.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I can only imagine that this must be a tough time.. I’m sorry I’m late with reading this, and I know I can’t say anything to help, but I just wanted to send some hugs your way. I do hope you can come to find a better sense of peace with your mum, the situation, your history and the present..  ♥

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I apologize for reading this over 3 days late. I can certainly understand the mixed emotions you were feeling towards your mother and on Mother’s Day.
    I absolutely love my mom with all my heart. Lord knows I write enough about her. But there have been times, very harsh and real times that stick out to me as being treated rather cruel. One instance was only 3&1/2 years ago. We went for 4 months not speaking at all. In that time of not speaking, my mind simmered over what she had done to me.
    I wouldn’t quite say I’ve ever forgiven her for her actions, but I have moved on. What happened can never be taken back, but I refused for it to eat away at my recovery and overall mental well-being.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am sorry that you have experienced such strife with your mother too. It is so very confusing when the person who should love and protect us most lets us down or even outright causes us direct harm. Hugs.

      Liked by 1 person

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