Mother’s Day always creates such a barrage of mixed emotions for me. There was a lot of trauma, abuse, mental illness, and foolish decisions that marked my childhood. My mother was far from a perfect parent. Luckily, she does admit to that and seems to be really trying to be a better person now, but being around her always triggers so many memories, thoughts, and feelings – some good, some bad, some funny, and some tragic.
I think part of the issue is that my brain has a tough time seeing how she acts towards me now and reconciling it with memories of how my sister and I were treated while growing up. I do believe in forgiveness (within reason), and I do love my mother, but I doubt there will ever be a day in her company that doesn’t create confusion for me internally.
I write this post today to recognize those of us who struggle on Mother’s Day to even know how to feel…
Maranda Russell 
19 responses to “Complicated Mother’s Day”
Thank you for this honest and courageous post ❤️️ So many of us are affected by traumatic childhoods-thank you for bringing attention to this.
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Glad I could help ♥
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Sadness and forgiveness go hand in hand.
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True.
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I have two adopted grandchildren that had an abusive and traumatic past with their biological mother. It is so unfortunate and it affects them still today. They are sisters, ages twelve and thirteen. Thank you for posting this.
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It is really tough growing up with dysfunctional parents. I feel for them.
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I forgot it was mother’s day until I read this. I had much the same relationship with my mother. It’s very complex and I feel for your struggle. It was never easy between me and mine and I often struggled for long periods after dealing with her. I hope you can find some peace with it.
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Thanks so much ♥ Sorry you went through similar things.
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I can only imagine that this must be a tough time.. I’m sorry I’m late with reading this, and I know I can’t say anything to help, but I just wanted to send some hugs your way. I do hope you can come to find a better sense of peace with your mum, the situation, your history and the present.. ♥
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Thank you so much for your kind thoughts. I’m doing ok. Always glad when it’s over lol.
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I apologize for reading this over 3 days late. I can certainly understand the mixed emotions you were feeling towards your mother and on Mother’s Day.
I absolutely love my mom with all my heart. Lord knows I write enough about her. But there have been times, very harsh and real times that stick out to me as being treated rather cruel. One instance was only 3&1/2 years ago. We went for 4 months not speaking at all. In that time of not speaking, my mind simmered over what she had done to me.
I wouldn’t quite say I’ve ever forgiven her for her actions, but I have moved on. What happened can never be taken back, but I refused for it to eat away at my recovery and overall mental well-being.
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I am sorry that you have experienced such strife with your mother too. It is so very confusing when the person who should love and protect us most lets us down or even outright causes us direct harm. Hugs.
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True.
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Maranda, it is very appropriate to witness the other side of Mother’s Day. Not everyone enjoys a “happy” time. My better half faces her own challenges because her Mom passed on a few years ago.
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Yes, grief can cause huge issues with these holidays as well. I’ve never liked Father’s Day much since my dad died when I was 12.
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Yeah, Mother’s Day was hard for me too
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I’m sorry to hear that. Hugs.
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Finding the balance between forgiveness and care of yourself so you don’t open yourself to more hurt is quite a challenge. It’s really nice of you to post this to help others.
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Thanks for reading and commenting! I always hope I can help someone with my experience.
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