Yesterday I saw my psychiatrist. We spent a lot of time talking about the dark, morbid interests I have and whether those might be contributing to my depression and anxiety. I’ve always been drawn to studying the dark side of things, whether it be the occult, serial killers, suicide, the dark side of history, horror movies and books, or psychopaths. I know these interests may not be the best things for my mental state, but they are all things that fascinate me and it is hard for me to resist things that fascinate me.
At one point in the conversation, my psychiatrist asked if there were any happy interests I have. I told him I love cartoons, but then I told him one of my favorite cartoon movies is Anastasia, which he pointed out is about the mass murder of the royal family lol, so maybe not so happy after all.
Today I have an MRI scheduled on my head and neck to try to figure out what might be causing my recent migraines. I’m really not looking forward to it. I hate MRI’s, especially on the head and neck because I feel really claustrophobic and hate not being able to move for so long.
Maranda Russell 
I hope the MRI doesn’t end up being too awful.
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Will update soon, it was bad 😦
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Oh that sucks 😦
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Stay strong! It will help with the diagnosis. I only have that thought in mind while I go through difficult tests.
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It was a nightmare, but home safe now.
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Good!
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I understand.
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♥♥
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I’m sorry for your pain Maranda
I’m sorry to say, I fall asleep during my MRI’s
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I wish I could sleep through it!
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Darkness, darkness, my old friend, I do like how you are in it yet can still see it and find creativity in it.
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🙂 Thank you!
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Pleasure
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Aw I’m sorry I’m late reading this – I really do hope your MRI went as well as possible. Did you manage it okay?
I share that morbid fascination. I was never sure whether it developed because I was allowed to get into things at a young age (like watching Chucky when I was 6, Psycho when I was 9, watching true crime shows & FBI files as a kid with my folks), or whether the fascination was already there. Maybe we just can’t help what fascinates us! xx
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MRI didn’t go so well 😦 Wrote a post about that yesterday. You do sound a lot like me as a kid. By the time I was 9 I was reading Stephen King and VC Andrews books. I grew up watching Unsolved Mysteries and Rescue 911, the first movie I ever remember seeing in a theater was Arachnophobia, and I was a huge fan of stuff like Goosebumps and Are You Afraid of the Dark as a kid.
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I’m sorry about the MRI 😦
Ooo yes, Are You Afraid of the Dark, used to love that too & I had an ever-growing collection of Goosebumps books as a kid, too.xx
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🙂
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I’m sorry to hear that it didn’t go well was it because of your clastaphobia
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I think that contributed quite a bit, plus the noise/vibrations.
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Oh yes that could not have helped..
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Maranda, I am sorry for being out of touch in reading your blog. I will try to stay in touch better. You continue to be on my prayer list.
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Thank you 🙂
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☼ A nice, honest sharing. All your posts appear to be. <3. Finding the balance between not ignoring the dark – bc it is important – but not being ruled by it is no easy task. For anyone.
A pleasure to read.
JC
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I try to be as honest and open as I can. Thanks for reading and commenting ♥
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