How do you respond to “mean” or seemingly insulting comments that you receive on your blog or social media? Sometimes I’m not even sure if a reply is meant to be insulting, so I try to give the person posting it the benefit of the doubt, but sometimes there is no doubt. Here are a few specific comments I remember getting over the years:
About my art:
“Go back to playing with your crayons.”
“How is that even art?”
About my writing/poetry:
“Every human being has something valuable to share. However, not every human being was meant to do so through poetic means.”
“Cliched and unconvincing. Boring.”
About me personally:
Various accusations of being immature/childish, overly sensitive, “stupid”, ugly, unattractive, etc.
The problem is that I never really know how to respond to these kind of comments. Should I ignore them? Delete the comment? Block the person? Write a snappy comeback? Try to reason with them? At different times I’ve tried all these tactics, and I’m still not sure what the best course really is. What has worked best for you?
Maranda Russell 
42 responses to “How to Respond to Mean Comments”
Gasp. That that such things would be even said! Reasoning won’t work with that type, and confronting is what they may even want. I haven’t had this on WP, but I have had some nastiness in the past on FB and I simply ignored and eventually blocked. Not all sickness in the world is bacteria or virus, some of it is just nasty people steer clear.
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Well, some of these were on social media, not on WordPress. I am actually lucky to not get a whole lot of nasty stuff here on my blog. I have deleted a few though. And left up a couple questionable ones that I’m not sure if they meant to be mean or not.
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Yes, WP seems a better crowd, but the other, ugh.
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Everything we do has consequences
There will always be detractors
Better to be ok internally and let the negative people own their behavior
I spent time on the ptsd discussion boards
For me saying we could heal I was viciously attacked by victims
Their dysfunction did not stop me from writing or believing we can heal
It is almost a right of passage on the internet
I mean look how cruel people are when they r anonymous
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Yes, I do find anonymous comments are often the worst, although sadly, some of the very worst mean comments I’ve gotten have actually been from extended family (mostly on my husband’s side) 😦
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That says a lot about them and their lack of decency and kindness
Let them own their trash
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Hey, what’s it like to get comments even ? I would be inclined to disregard anything said which is not adding value to the work. Not everyone has control of their vegetative state after all. Keep on keeping on. Never forget they said Louis was Mad. Who is Louis you ask? Well Louis was mad. Regardless of my nonsense kind regards, Chris T.
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It is glorious to get comments, I do adore that part of it no doubt. It makes you feel important and cared about by the community. I do have some posts that still don’t get many comments, but I am blessed to usually get at least a few comments and that means a lot to me. Of course, I have put years of work into this blog 🙂
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After a couple decades of hanging around the internet, my personal feeling is that “Please don’t feed the Trolls” is probably the best advice. The kind of people that would make personal attacks like that have no life and feed off of the misery they cause.
Ignore or delete it, maybe post a general reply that only civil responses are welcome… And if the same person keeps it up, by all means, ban them. It’s YOUR blog. Somebody wants to spew venom, let them get their own blog and followers. You have a reasonable right to expect civil behavior in your little corner of the internet. Anybody that tells you otherwise is just an enabler.
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Good advice.
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Thanks. You may flub up and snap at one also. It’s OK, you’re human, let it go and move on if it happens. 🙂
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I tend to ignore/delete. I figure if people are going to nasty then responding to them isn’t likely to make them un-nasty.
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Probably true. I can only remember one time when responding civily to someone who was nasty to me online actually caused them to apologize and become reasonable.
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I try to be self-deprecating. Helps keep my ego in check. As long as something I create reaches somebody and gives them a new view of the universe (even if it’s not something mind-blowing), I’m happy. I write to communicate. Sometimes things I say come out odd or shallow – that’s just a part of learning how to interact with others.
I mean, positivity is appreciated, of course. So is negativity in critique. And though I can take negativity, a plain old insult says more about the person who said it than it does about me. (FYI, it normally says they’re an asshole. But I can only hope they find enough peace in life that they don’t have to be malicious towards a stranger on the internet.)
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Agreed.
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Wow, it’s incredible that people can be so unkind. I have all my comments on my Blog set to require approval, so anything that may upset my Readers can’t get through. While I haven’t had anything like what you just depicted, I have had one that was pretty scathing about Opiod use. As for social media, I ignore anything negative and refuse to engage; I won’t indulge their ignorance. Then I block them. I’m sorry you have to deal with this, it’s so disheartening. Good luck and keep doing what makes you happy!! ❤️️
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I have deleted some comments that I did think would potentially offend my readers. Even if they weren’t personal attacks against me, if they were just really rude or hateful in general, I don’t want to expose people to that.
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Agreed. As much as we need to protect ourselves, I find it equally as important to protect my readers. I put a lot of effort into the positivity of my Blog, I won’t allow negativity to lessen it. I’m sorry for the negative comments on your work. I certainly appreciate it!!
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If someone is giving genuine writing advice to me but in a blunt way, I will accept that. Any other type of mean remark gets round-filed and blocked, with the exception of trolls I know and love from the olden days. We play. But they hardly come around now 🙂
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LOL, that might be fun to have trolls you know and love. I don’t think I’ve ever had that.
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I haven’t had nasty comments; n my blog, only spammers that don’t get through. All my comments are moderated.
But in the past, on an old blog, I started getting some nasty comments from one only one person. It turned out I knew that person, as their ip address gave them away.
I ended up writing a post warning about nasty commenters and what I would do, saying how a recent commenter who has not been published, but their comments saved as evidence, because I knew who they were, due to their slip up. I added the post that I could threaten to reveal that person here, in addition to the evidence, should I have any more. But I won’t stoop that low, but would definitely go to the police with it.
I didn’t get anymore from that person and so very quickly nipped in the bud. But I was shocked by who done that.
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Wow, interesting. Was it someone you knew well?
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Just knew via an online community, who I thought was ok with me and others there. But later down the line, I realised I was wrong when his ip address and email he used on my deaf forum I used to host, matched his comments left on my blog. I just couldn’t understand it.
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Yeah, people are strange as the Doors once said.
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They are really rude comments. I would ignore the mild ones but would block these rude people.
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Good advice I think.
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Take care. 😎
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I would say thank you, God Bless.
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lol, kill ’em with kindness!
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For sure. Best comeback. lol
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Nothing to fear
Nothing to loss
Nothing that I have to prove!
But they better watch out
Better not shout
If they blantantly insult me!
Tony ‘the phony poet’ Spitsarelli
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I like that!
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Released as a new post!
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WordPress is a great community, social media, however, is another story. I would just ignore rudeness.
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🙂
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I think I would ignore rude comments and delete them
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I often have taken that route.
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😊😊😊
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Maranda, if I feel a comment is inappropriate, I may just ignore it. However, repeated comments of this nature from the same person may require blocking them.
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Good advice 🙂
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It’s tough because the person making the comments may not have truly understood the post.
So in my case, I’ll explain again. And if this fails, I’ll just ignore the comments and move on. P.s. I will not delete the comments. Cheers…
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True. Many times that is what I do too.
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