Things I Worry About


  1. Are we destroying this planet to the point that it will be unable to sustain life? Will our arrogance, perpetual fighting and greed end up in our mutual destruction? Are we a foolish race causing our own eventual extinction?
  2. Did any of the narcissistic abuse of my childhood rub off on me? Am I narcissistic? I don’t want to be. I don’t want to hurt anyone or cause anyone else the kind of pain I have felt.
  3. Are we headed for civil war in this country? The polarization seems to be becoming more and more severe and dangerous. Which is more likely to happen first, our own country being torn apart by civil war, or our world being thrust into WW3 – likely over the natural resources we are bleeding dry?
  4. Will I someday find myself alone and have to make the decision to either end my life or survive on my own (the latter which happens to be my biggest fear). As terrifying as the idea is, I hope I would have the strength to try to survive. I would hate to think I would give up that easily.
  5. Am I irrevocably broken? I feel like something went very wrong in the attachment process and I am unable to create wholly secure and healthy attachments to other human beings. That is a hard thing to live with and hard (if not impossible) to fix. Attachment styles are something that is formed when we are very, very young. I have an anxious/avoidant style that makes all relationships feel insecure. Even if I can fix my conscious thoughts (as I have been able to do with my husband) I cannot fix my subconscious (and my fearful/paranoid dreams constantly remind me of that fact).

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Hi! I am an artist, author, and blogger who also happens to have Asperger’s Syndrome. I have won several awards and honors for my writings and artwork. I suffer from a few severe mental illness and chronic pain conditions (Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, Fibromyalgia, CFS/ME, Ehlers Danlos, Degenerative Disc Disease, etc.), which greatly affects my life and makes me want to advocate for others going through similar things. Other interests of mine include reading, writing, drawing, watching cartoons and movies, collecting toys, hanging out with my family, and annoying my 3 cats.

22 thoughts on “Things I Worry About”

  1. Anxiety is rough and hard for us with and those who live us abd see us go through it. I was lucky my fiance put up with me when we first started going together because I was anxious and would cause him a lot of distress because I would second guess everything he did. There was no reason to since he wasnt my exes sand isnt a bag guy but the anxiety caused me to really struggle with trusting him. I’m grateful he stuck it out. I know how rough it is but we got this. Great post. I’ve questioned these things many times myself almost to a panic attack. Lol

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  2. 1. I think life will always evolve and survive, but we could destroy lots of existing species. I hope we will realise that in time, but I’m not that hopeful.

    2. I think if you don’t want to hurt anyone, that’s a sign you aren’t a narcissist. Narcissists don’t care about being narcissistic. I don’t know if Donald Trump is a narcissist in the clinical (rather than the colloquial) sense, but I doubt he lies awake at night worrying if he’s hurt anyone.

    3. I’ve worried about this. In the UK, politics is very polarised and hate-filled at the moment, but at least hardly anyone owns or knows how to use a gun. In America…

    I read a comparative history book years ago about the history of war; I seem to recall that surprisingly few modern wars are caused by competition over natural resources, but unfortunately humans have lots of other reasons to fight each other. I think a world war is less likely than local wars in various places at the moment.

    Actually, although it is under-reported, my understanding is that by most long-term metrics, the world is becoming safer: violence and war is reducing, life expectancy and wealth are rising and infant mortality is falling. See e.g. this page.

    4. This one terrifies me too. I’m basically dependent on my parents at the moment. It is scary. I don’t really have any answers.

    5. I worry about this one too. I think if you’ve been able to change with your husband, that shows that you aren’t irrevocably broken. I also think that supposedly “broken” people are often more in touch with their humanity than “normal/healthy” people. “There is nothing more whole than a broken heart.”

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  3. Very bleak, but grounded in truths. I don’t think any nation could stomach a world war, there’s no energy or money for it. The environment is the big one, and it will depend on us not to support the politicians (like the ones we all universally) we have, as they are not interested. What we have to avoid, and this is the real bit, is the tendency we have to resign ourselves to let wealthy self-interest corrupt environmental recovery.

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  4. One of the things I do to handle anxiety is to look at what I can reasonably do about the thing I am worried about. Then I do what I can and let go of the rest. Sometimes there’s nothing I can do and then I just let it be. Anxiety is there to alert us to things we need to take care of, but once we’ve done what we can, we can safely let it go. So,with looking after our planet, I make reasonable choices in my life to help protect it and then let go of that worry. I know the issue is not fixed but I can only do my small part, so I do what I can and then let go. Hope this helps. If it doesn’t please just ignore it!

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    1. Great advice, and I think it works for regular anxiety, but not sure about if you actually have an anxiety disorder. My therapist tries to work with me on retraining my brain but man that is a lot of work and slow progress! I think a lot of it has to do with ptsd and a history of trauma that makes my brain on high alert about everything all the time. I wish it didn’t!


  5. We all possess concerns (in place of worries), but we can always rely on God to help us with heavy lifting.

    Our country will weather our current situation. We have managed to move forward in the past, and our democratic republic will endure our current missteps.

    Liked by 1 person

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