Suit Up for Battle

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Have you ever had a relationship in your life, whether it be a family member, coworker, boss, neighbor, schoolmate, or other social acquaintance, who makes you feel like you need to prepare yourself for for battle every time you come in contact with them?

Perhaps they are masters of the subtle put-down, love to give sneaky guilt trips, always manage to make you feel inferior and “less than”, or simply bring out the worst in you, leaving you feeling regretful and exhausted after the encounter finally ends.

I have a meeting like this coming up soon and it has been stressing me out. While I was laying in bed a couple nights ago stressing about it, I suddenly realized how much effort I had to put into steeling myself before the encounter. I have to put on emotional and mental armor and make sure none of my weak spots are showing. I have to be strong and hide any reaction to their attempts to get to me while in their presence, otherwise it will only encourage them.

It made me sad to think that it has to be this way. It also made me realize why the whole experience causes me so much anxiety and exhaustion. Preparing for battle is exhausting!

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25 thoughts on “Suit Up for Battle

  1. One solution is to not play by the other person’s rules. In a social situation for example, if someone tries to put you down, call them out. Tell them to stop doing it. Tell them to their face they are being rude or unkind.

    If they claim they are only joking, tell them their statements are not a joke but rather mean spirited and rude. And that none of the people they say it to like it.

    You can do this in a business setting as well, you just need to learn the correct phrases. Like how ‘as per my previous email’ means ‘read the fucking mail I already sent you’. Phrases exist for other situations, you just need to find them.

    They won’t like you for calling out their meanness, but clearly they already don’t like you.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. None of us are good at conflict. Well, unless we’re manic. And even though I say do this, it still takes an emotional toll on me and lots of times I just let it slide. But it’s handy to have the stock phrases ready for when you’re need / want to use them – neatly and elegantly phrased, so you sound strong rather than hurt or whiny. Think of these phrases as items in your spell bag that you prepared in advance in case you need them.

        And it’s wrong that other people can make you feel stressed because of how they talk and the things they say or imply. They problem isn’t you, it’s them, and I find it sad that you even have to armour yourself against this.

        One comfort is that once you start putting your foot down a few times (and not even all at once – it may be over many months or even years) – people stop doing this to you because they realise you won’t put up with their nonsense.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I met a professor this week who went on and on about how experienced she is in the faculty and she spoke with an air of authority as though we have to listen to whatever she said. I hope that’s just a false impression, otherwise taking her class would be like preparing for a battle!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Ephesians 6:13 Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. …. then it goes on to describe the sword, the helmet, etc…..

        Like

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