(I wrote this new little poem the other day and have had a hard time deciding if it should just be shortened to contain the first stanza only, or if it is better with both. I figured I would share it with you guys and see if anyone had an opinion. Should I keep it as is with the two stanzas, or should I cut out the last four lines and have a much shorter, but perhaps punchier poem?)
He offered up money
for his liberty,
but could never quite reach
the asking price.
Though he bid
higher and higher,
the inflation would only
keep rising.
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Keep it just the way it is! I love it! Great piece, Maranda!
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Thanks Beckie! Sometimes getting other people’s opinions can really help. It is too hard to judge our own work critically.
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I know the feeling awfully well. I second guess myself all the time, every time.
Again, leave it. It wa done wonderfully!
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Agreed!
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🙂
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Thank you! 🤗
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It would work both ways, but I think I prefer it as is.
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Thanks for the feedback ♥
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It works well with both stanzas. Very profound thoughts
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Thank you 🙂
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You’re welcome 😉
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It’s great how it is! I would have had the feeling, something’s missing, if the last 4 lines were gone.
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Thanks, that seems to be the consensus. Glad I asked 🙂
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its better with the last stanza cut out! A great poem miranda! ❤
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Thanks Carol Anne ♥
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Maranda, keep both stanzas in the poem. How would the poem sound with the stanzas reversed?
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I don’t think it sounds good with the stanzas reversed, already thought about that. I think I will keep it as is with the two stanzas though.
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I agree! I was just thinking out loud.
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