Depression Again

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Been really fighting off a depression slump again, and I’m losing. Today I slept in until after noon – that is often one of the first signs that the depression is getting real. The longer and later I sleep in often correlates directly to a diminishing mood.

You may ask if there is something triggering this slump. The holidays often seem to be related to the issue. Last night I had a dream about revisiting the house my dad died in when I was 12, I’m sure that might have something to do with it – approaching the holidays and thinking of all the family losses again.

My cat, Spyder, really has me down too. He has been sick for over a month now. We’ve spent a ridiculous amount of money on 3 vet visits, 3 rounds of antibiotics, special diet foods, and medical tests – all to be no closer to a real answer about what is wrong and with him not getting any better, at least not for long. He’ll get a little better on the antibiotics, but once they stop, he quickly gets sick again. Yesterday and today he hasn’t even been eating and just sleeps all day.

Feeling pretty low and hopeless at the moment.

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marandarussell

Hi! I am an artist, author, and blogger who also happens to have Asperger’s Syndrome. I have won several awards and honors for my writings and artwork. I suffer from a few severe mental illness and chronic pain conditions (Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, Fibromyalgia, CFS/ME, Ehlers Danlos, Degenerative Disc Disease, etc.), which greatly affects my life and makes me want to advocate for others going through similar things. Other interests of mine include reading, writing, drawing, watching cartoons and movies, collecting toys, hanging out with my family, and annoying my 3 cats.

41 thoughts on “Depression Again”

  7. Hi, Maranda. I’m so sorry about your kitty, Spyder not feeling well. If you don’t mind me asking, how old is he?
    I can so relate to you being in a slump. I feel like mine hit me the week of Thanksgiving and it was me thinking quite a bit about the “Once Upon a Time” family I had.
    I think when the holidays and/or a certain time rolls around and there is a loss, it undeniably triggers our moods.
    I was suppose to see my therapist today, but my roommate’s car wouldn’t start. I really needed that appointment, hell, I waitied a month and a half for it. Now, it’s been pushed off until Jan 2nd.
    Like you, definitely feeling the massive slump hitting hard.
    Just hoping and praying like crazy to get through this season without sinking deeper. All we can do is try not to.
    Hang in there, Maranda. I hope you strat feeling better soon. 💗

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  11. Oh Maranda, I’m so sorry.
    Does Spyder have any more tests coming up? It must be heartbreaking to not know what’s wrong. I hate that with pets, you feel so helpless because they can’t even tell you how they feel or where it hurts or anything.
    I can only imagine what the ‘festive’ season brings up for you to deal with. Sometimes things can gnaw at us without us even realising until later, so maybe it’s been building up and now you’re feeling it.. Hang in there. I hope you can find some desire to do something nice for yourself this weekend to distract your brain. Depression is a cruel, tough, evil mistress. But you’re tougher. Sending hugs  ♥
    Caz xxxxx

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  16. Sorry to hear you feel this. I am in a similar situation. Sleeping a lot and don’t feel like doing anything. But trying to keep alive a determination that I will move up from this. Hope you feel better.

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  17. Awww I’m so sorry to hear this. Dogs and cats being poorly is the absolute worst particularly if they’re old. Take care of yourself … go back to the basics of good healthcare and ride out the storm. “This too shall pass” … even though I know this feels like nonsense right now … Sending big 🤗 hugs. Katie

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  18. I’m very sorry for your suffering, I will be praying for you and your kitty. I was diagnosed with clinical depression that I battled for over 18 years and finally overcame it. You are not alone, don’t give up! I do want to offer a little more hope for your kitty. I have a service dog that’s been my baby since he was 3 months old. At 10 years old he went completely deaf and blind and I was scared to have to put him down. I was introduced to a 5 herbal supplement made for animals, I gave it to my dog and he’s now 13 years old with 100% eyesight and hearing.

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  19. Thanks for sharing. I am so sorry and hoping that things are much better for you.
    Please know we can be certain that our Creator understands us and the debilitating effect that depression can have on our imperfect minds and bodies. He knows what causes depression and how we can best cope under present circumstances. Infact, he has revealed how he will cure depression forever. When we think about that we couldn’t wish for no one better to help us than our compassionate “God, Who comforts and encourages and refreshes and cheers the depressed.”​—2 Corinthians 7:6

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