Maranda Russell

Stressful and Emotional Week

This has been a stressful and emotional week. My husband and I had marriage counseling early in the week, which is helpful, but always makes me emotional and kind of depressed (depressed because we even need marriage counseling in the first place). Then my husband started a 12 step support group to work on some of the acting out behaviors he struggles with. I’m glad he started the group, I think it will be good for him and he could use the friendship and accountability partners, but I was also kind of bummed because his support group gets to meet in person and I desperately wish I could find a support group for me that meets in person.

I feel like I’m dying for that face to face interaction, but the only support groups I could find for me only meet online for right now and it looks like it will be that way until at least September because of the rules of the church where they normally met before Covid. I’m still going to try to be a part of it, but it just isn’t the same. Part of me is jealous that my husband gets that in-person attention and I can’t.

On top of that, my husband and I had a fight yesterday (or more accurately, I had an emotional meltdown and he sort of closed up, not knowing how to respond). The argument was about the trip we are taking to Buffalo, NY next week and about him making plans for it that I didn’t agree to and wouldn’t like so that he could visit an old friend. More than anything, I was just upset that I felt like he didn’t even think about how any of it would affect me or make the trip harder for me.

I’m feeling like an emotional wreck.

marandarussell

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33 responses to “Stressful and Emotional Week”

  4. Hey. I am so sorry about the way things are right now. Just hold on. I am so happy your husband is seeking help and both of you are both in counselling. I know it is depressing and you feel bad that you are in that situation in the first place, but the mere fact that both of you are willing to go to counselling and fix things is hopeful and you should take pride in that. I am sorry about the fight. I know this trip was supposed to be a bit of a breather for you after everything you have experienced so far. I hope it doesn’t damper the trip too badly. You deserve to be happy.

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  5. I’m not here to give you some advice….I’m simply sharing with you….as I very much connect with what you’ve posted….It’s definitely ok to not be ok….give yourself time & space….don’t be hard on yourself….when oven is on, it’s hot….when you switch it off, it remains hot in the begining….but with time, it cools off….when I snap (/ have a meltdown), I try to isolate myself to calm myself down….sometimes it helps n sometimes it requires an extra effort….if I don’t isolate & am still in the zone….the oven becomes warmer….in the grill mode….I hope you’re getting what I’m suggesting 🙏✨

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    • Yeah, I think I get what you mean. The funny thing is that before we talked about the issue, I didn’t think I would have a meltdown lol. It was kind of unexpected. I planned to have a reasonable, calm conversation, but that kind of fell apart.

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      • Oh, I know the feeling….sometimes it comes from nowhere, when it’s least expected….but again, not trying to compare or something coz every meltdown is unique in its own way….pls do give yourself space n take care ✨

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  6. 💜 Good; better out than in with YOU!!! family-like TRUST!!! Levels meaning that YOU!!! Can Both Behave Badly and then Forgive Each Other until YOU!!! Both STOP!!! YOUR!!! Mutual, Symbiotic, CoDependent Bad Behaviour

    …💛💚💙…

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  12. I have intentionally skipped the “Like” button on this post. The writing and the way you tell your stories is excellent, as always, but there is a sad struggle in this story that I simply cannot “like”. My friend, I hear you loud and clear that hubby didn’t think about you when he changed your travel plans to accommodate something he wanted. But, having said that, I am aware that too often when things like that happen and upset me, it is because I somehow think that this person should know how I would feel about it if they knew me at all…whether they got a signal from me or not. You can’t be the one to change your husband’s behaviors and reactions, but you CAN change your own. I hope you find a better expression of your feelings that having a “melt-down”….

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  13. Oh Maranda, sending you comforting hugs. I’m going through something similar where my husband has decided to end the relationship, it’s been 6 months since we got married. I feel counseling really helps but he didn’t even offer to get those sessions, leaving so scope for reconciliation. I hope your relationship finds love and light. More peace to you xoxo

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  14. Are you sure they are the right counsellor for you? I only ask because by talking openly about the things that matter, the counsellor should be helping you resolve your differences and bridge any gaps. I think counselling is a sign of strength to be honest – even Michelle and Barack Obama needed it at one point!

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