(If you enjoy personal drama posts, you’ll like this one lol. I’m not going to name the person or blog, as I don’t think that is necessary or constructive, but the whole set of circumstances hurt my feelings and disappointed me and I wanted to vent.)
Ok, so I had this blogger friend. One that I thought of as a close friend and great source of mutual support. Something rare to find in the blogging community. She also blogs about many of the issues I blog about (mental illness, etc.) We encouraged each other consistently and even supported each other outside of WordPress by reading and reviewing each other’s books. I really thought of her as a close blogging/online friend.
Then one day she posted about a medical procedure that I had been told by my psychiatrist was dangerous and could have some serious side effects. I mentioned what I had been advised about the procedure by my doctor in a comment on the post, although I did explain that I certainly was no expert on the subject and wasn’t entirely sure if my doctor gave me completely accurate information and that I would have to investigate the subject further.
Because of me even questioning the safety of the procedure, it seemed like she just cut off all communication with me. I waited a while thinking maybe I hadn’t worded things right and had hurt her feelings or something and wanted to give her time to cool off. However, even though I tried to keep supporting her because I wanted to salvage our friendship, she refused to respond. Eventually I decided to email her and apologize if I had misspoken, hurt her feelings, or offended her as I definitely did NOT have any intention of doing so.
She emailed me back (I do appreciate that, because had she not, I never would have gotten any closure on the whole issue), and told me that since I had “promoted stigmatizing misinformation” that she pretty much blocked me automatically across the board.
So, am I the asshole for thinking this was an overreaction and being very hurt by the blatant rejection of someone I had considered a close blogger friend? How would you feel?
Well. What can I say. At the end of the day you just shared something that the doctor shared with you and you thought to share it.
Now I haven’t seen this conversation, so I wouldn’t have a clue on the blogger and not something I want to get into. But if you just shared information while being polite, then it’s just called a conversation.
There was no need for someone to cut you off like that, just because they disagreed with something you said.
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Yeah, it really hurt my feelings, especially when no negativity or offense was intended in any way. I only have a few online/blogger friends I feel I really connect with, so it hurts to lose one, especially over something that feels so petty and minor.
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Yes, it would feel hurtful, when you feel you have a good connection with a blogger.
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Sorry to hear of this. It seems that some folk take offence when there was none offered or intended π¦
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Yeah π¦
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Maybe she is really nervous about the procedure (no idea what it is) and she is extra sensitive right now. It’s sad when two friends part. I had a situation with someone that was a rather complex subject, but this person who I had been close to for many years never even emailed me back. In the end, I just accepted it was for the best and moved on. It hurts but sometimes they need to work out their issues without you. π
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Yeah. I know I am a sensitive person and take stuff like this too much to heart, but in some ways I like that about myself because I care deeply enough to care, ya know? I am glad at least I got some closure, even if it was pretty much just a slamming door in my face lol.
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That is the important thing that you know what you did was from caring and not from trying to cause a conflict. It was the same in my situation. Sorry that happened!
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Donβt beat yourself up about it, misunderstandings happen. You apologized and it was up to her to accept and move forward. At least now you know where you stand with each other. Iβm so this happen to you. Itβs not easy to make friends online or in person so to loose one can be hard
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Yeah, I am glad to know at least that I can move on now as it obviously isn’t going to change.
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Weirdly, a similar thing happened to me last year. And yeah it hurt! Not a nice thing to happen. But heh at least I’m not alone now lol.
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Nope, not alone!
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I don’t think you did anything wrong. Sometimes people over-react because they really do not want anyone else’s opinion; they really want complete agreement. And react negatively when they don’t get it.
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Yeah, you are definitely right. Sad though when you think someone really isn’t like that…until they are. I’m so glad to still have my other blogging buddies though! You guys are great.
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π Reason, Season, LifeTime; to be Attached is Folly, Be UnAttached and Observe Experience EveryOne
…πππ…
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Yeah, that unattachment thing takes a lot of practice lol
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π My Evolution and Ascension Journey to a 5DState while CHOOSING!!! Continued 3DExistence can Be Summarised Thus EveryOne; it may Be Different for YOU!!! and, Hopefully, Less Painful:
1. Suffering; with UnAdmitted, UnAcknowledged, and UnAddressed MMHI (Multiple Mental Health Issues)
2. Awakening by Admitting, AcknowledgingandAddressingMy MMHI; including a Total Acceptance of Divorce, Job Loss and Homelessness
3. Ascending; Humming, Buzzing, Tingling, Energtic Spewing, Vigorous Solar Plexus Activity, ergo a Great Deal of DisComfort and Pain
…πππ…
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In my opinion with some people it’s only a matter of time before they over react. A friend of my wife’s over reacted to something I did and cut off all communication with her. I was surprised but in retrospect if she is going to react that way to my wife for something I did that offended her, I don’t think it was a big loss to never hear from her again. What I did should be clarified. I had offered a friend use of my home while he was on vacation and we were away, my wife’s friend also wanted to visit the lake region at the same time and what I did was offer her to stay at the same time. We have a big house, and he is married. That was my sin?
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Yeah, that definitely seems like an overreaction!
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Yeah you’re right about how some people do that. I guess they are constantly weeding out people from their social network who ‘disagree’ with them!
Haha, overreacted to an act of generosity? π€¦ββοΈ
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I don’t know but I thought I was trying to help everyone and my buddy especially who is a long time friend.
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Some people are too quick to judge and take care offense. It is sad that you lost a friend, but then perhaps she wasnβt on your wavelength anyway.
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Yeah, I’m glad you are still my friend. I consider you one of my top blog buddies too π
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So do I my dear. I think that our community is very supportive here, except for a few people.
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Blogging is all about sharing what you think/what you feel/what you know from your own perspective. Opening up a post for comments allows others to share what they think/feel/know on your subject matter. How boring would reading blogs be if we all thought/felt/knew the very same things? I’m sorry this person wasn’t able to see being her defensiveness of being questioned about the subject matter, but that’s on her, not on you. You handled this well, you supported your comments with an apology for upsetting her. One of my favorite apologies is “I’m sorry you feel that way.” It says that you are sorry to have brought up that person’s negative feelings without taking ownership for them.
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yeah, I like that apology too. It made me feel better to vent about the whole situation. Now I can put it behind me and move on. I guess if some people don’t want to be a part of your life, that’s their choice, huh?
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I would be angry at that treatment, a summary treatment after an extensive friendship is such a shock.
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Yeah, it does feel like a personal offense and like an intentional wounding.
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Time to self care and protect.
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I seems like rather a n overreaction to what could have been a simple mistake and which she could have cleared up easily.
Hugs
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Agreed.
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Huh, just coming across this now. There is so much stigma around various treatments for mental illness, particularly ECT, with lots of people talking about how barbaric it is. So when I talk about ECT having been helpful for me, and the most beneficial treatment I’ve ever had, and then someone comments that they think it causes brain damage and posts links to anti-psychiatry authors, that goes against one of the fundamental purposes of my blog, which is to destigmatize mental illness and its treatment. That’s not what I want showing up on my blog. So I’m sorry if it hurt you, but what you said really bothered me. I am not well and have limited frustration tolerance, so I control what I allow on my blog. Other people may not like that, but I can’t control what other people do; I can only control what I do.
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