Here is what I wrote on my Facebook page today, I think it pretty much sums it all up:
Six long years, and I finally won my SSDI case! Fully favorable! Feel like crying and screaming. Been sick and in pain so long, sometimes I wanted to give up hope and die, but glad I hung in there.
All those people who doubted me or thought I was just being “lazy” or “dramatic” can kiss my ass. To all those who have showed love, empathy, and encouragement, thank you so much for helping to keep me alive and fighting.
My fellow bloggers here on WordPress definitely fall into the second category of supportive, encouraging people, so thank you all so much!!!
By the way, the decision was just made yesterday and my lawyer was the one who called and told me, so it will still be a little while before I get the back pay or monthly payments started, but I’m on my way!
Yesterday I saw my new neurologist for the first time to try to figure out why I am suddenly having so many migraines. I must say the visit didn’t start out well. For one thing, they only see new patients first thing in the morning, and I am NOT a morning person. However, I did make it there on time at 9am in the morning, but then I ended up waiting to see the doctor until after 11am!!! Needless to say, I was not a happy camper.
The doctor seemed rather grumpy when he finally came in too. Maybe he was having a bad morning (I would think so with being that behind schedule for a specialist), but after waiting two hours, dealing with a grumpy doctor was not ideal. I will say that even though he was a bit grumpy, he was thorough at least. He asked tons of questions and investigated all the leads I could provide, even bothering to request additional medical records and taking a second look at my imaging tests that have already been done.
By the end of the visit, he had decided to send me for an EEG to check for possible mini strokes or seizures, and another head/neck MRI to see if my cervical issues have worsened in the past two years or if anything else has changed. He also wants me to be tested for Meniere’s disease, an inner ear disorder that may be contributing to my vertigo, ear pain/pressure, and tinnitus.
He noted that my neck was constantly spasming, so he switched me to another muscle relaxer and also put me on Topamax to try to help prevent the migraines (we are hoping it might help my fibro pain some too). I guess we’ll see how it goes from there.
Check out the cute stuff my mom sent to me for an Easter care package! She did really good this year! It definitely helped cheer me up since I had been feeling pretty lousy lately between my depression and my chronic health issues.
I was feeling really depressed when I made this mixed media ACEO artist trading card. I originally wrote “I don’t matter” because that was how I was feeling, but after finishing the abstract artwork, I decided I didn’t want to leave such a negative message permanently. So, I took out my black pen, marked out the “don’t”, and underlined the words “I matter”. Just doing that small thing made me feel a bit better and like maybe I do matter more than I give myself credit for…
See my art for sale on my Ebay store!
I took the above picture at the Indianapolis Children’s Museum we visited a couple weeks ago. Anubis has always been one of my favorite mythological Gods. Him and Bastet are definitely my favorite Egyptian gods/goddesses, although Thoth is up there on my list as well.
In case you are unfamiliar with Anubis, he is the one often shown with the black dog head. He was the God of embalming and the dead, and the lord of the underworld until later replaced by Osiris. It is believed that he was shown with a black jackal head because jackals were often seen in cemeteries at the time.
Anubis also attended the “weighing of the heart” after someone died, to see if that person was pure enough to enter the underworld (Duat as it was called back then). Each person’s heart was weighed against Ma’at (truth) represented by a feather. If the person’s heart was light and pure, they would go on to a heavenly afterlife, but if their heart was heavy and evil, they would be devoured by Ammit (the demonic devourer of the dead).
As much of Greek mythology was inspired by Egyptian mythology, I always see the figure of Hades as an outgrowth of the figure of Anubis (with some Osiris thrown in too, but after all, Anubis WAS lord of the underworld first!)
I had a rough night. I woke up numerous times drenched in a cold sweat, shivering, and nauseated. I was starting to worry I was coming down with something, but today I am feeling better, so not sure what was going on. I guess we’ll see how the day goes.
I did get some stuff in the mail today that cheered me up. I got my new handheld phone tripod, my first mortar and pestle, some new oil pastels, and my first Num Nums subscription box (a snack box for those with food allergies). I plan to share all this on a YouTube video soon. Let me know if you guys might want to see that video when it is up and I can link it here.
I’ve also been listening to some MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) guy on YouTube named Tom Leykis who has his own radio show. It amazes me how twisted some of these guys get after being in bad relationships with women. Part of me wants to feel a little sorry for them for being mistreated in the past, but it is hard to feel too much empathy when they themselves have morphed into narcissistic, shallow assholes.
The whole MGTOW and incel phenomena are truly disturbing on multiple levels. The sheer rage, the desire for revenge, the need to put women down and dehumanize them, the harsh stereotypes they live by, etc. What is happening to our society?
Here are a couple more vintage-themed ACEO artist trading cards. Both are mixed media pieces. The first one here features paper with an Edgar Allan Poe stamp in the background, so I had to feature that! I thought the scissors looked kind of cool with it too. Then I painted over it with oil pastel and watercolor.
This second one was made with some victorian shoe stickers against a paper background of print and flowers. Lastly, I added a little random scribbling in black, white, and yellow gel pen if I remember right.
Check out my art currently for sale on my Ebay store!
It took all day for this video to upload onto YouTube lol, but I wanted to share in case anyone wanted to see what I got in this particular subscription box this month. It is the first time I’ve gotten this particular new age/spiritual box and I did enjoy it, although their past boxes looked a little better to me overall. Will definitely give it at least one more try though.
Been super unmotivated and blah today. I wanted to write a post but didn’t want anything that would take too much brain power lol, so decided to list the things I DID manage to get done today as a way to give myself a little pat on the back for even trying!
Stuff I Got Done Today:
- Writing this post (still in process)
- Put dishes up and cleaned kitchen (it desperately needed it)
- Got my husband to change the trash
- Listed several new artworks on my Ebay for sale
- Called my mom back (had to leave a message, but that is actually preferred in the mood I’m in lol)
- Had a tuna sandwich and the last Reese’s Pieces cookie for lunch
- Gave all my kitties some love
- Read a picture book about Mary Shelley (the creator of Frankenstein)
- Showered and all that other hygienic stuff
- Watched some Disney Channel
- Watered my plants that are still alive after a week! World record for me probably!