Poetry – Just a Poe Boy (or Girl)

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If Edgar had a muse
to hassle and abuse,
why not I?

Enter those raven’s wings
and all terrible things
from finer days gone by.

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1,000 Blog Followers!!! Thank You!

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I finally passed the 1k mark for blog followers! Thank you so much to everyone who has supported my efforts and made my life more full and rich! You guys have no idea how much you help my mood and keep me going! If it weren’t for the encouragement I get for my poetry and art on here, I’m not sure I would create as much of it as I do.

THANK YOU!!!! Love you all ♥

Another Inflammatory Flare Up and False Hope

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The past few days have been rough. My back went out again, so my upper back and neck have been causing extreme pain again. I think the gluten free diet isn’t really helping much, as all the things I thought it was helping have suddenly flared up the last couple weeks. My GERD has been awful to the point I’ve had trouble swallowing again, the night sweats are back, and I seem to be having a widespread inflammation flare-up again.

I know I shouldn’t have put so much hope on the diet to solve all these issues, but I feel like I’m so desperate for something to make me better that I often put high expectations on each new treatment idea, hoping it will be “the one”. Of course, I probably need to accept that since I have Ehlers Danlos (a genetic connective tissue disorder), that nothing is probably going to be that cure-all I have been hoping to find.

How I wish that there was a cure to whatever is going on inside me. I often long for one of those scanners like they have on Star Trek that could easily pinpoint exactly what is going on and what the treatment should be without being invasive. I guess I was born too early for that. We might be headed that way technologically, but it is probably well off on the horizon.

I Want to Feature YOUR Art!

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Hello there! For a while I have been wanting to feature artwork by other artists, especially other outsider artists, here on my blog. First choice of artists would go to those who have autism, other disabilities (physical or mental), or are self-taught. I want to let the art speak for itself, as I normally do for my own art, so here is what I would need if you want to be featured and how to submit it:

  • Up to 3 photos of your favorite or recent artworks you have created (good quality, high resolution photos preferred). Please include the name of each artwork, what medium was used to create it, and size if applicable.
  • I don’t necessarily want to do whole interviews, as I want the art to be center stage, but if you wish to share if you are neurodivergent, self-taught, or suffer from one or more disabilities, feel free to notify me of that. You can also share a couple links where people can follow you or find more of your art.
  • Email all this to Shojobeatgirl@live.com, with subject headline: Blog Art Feature.

I’m not sure how much response I will get to this offer, so it may take a while to be featured if I get a lot of entries. I hope to share a new artist every week or so.

Feel free to ask if you have any questions.

I’m Writing a New Book! Diary of a Brainwashed Fundamentalist Teenager

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For years now, I have considered writing a book about my teen years, when I got swept up in a fundamentalist, almost cult-like religious environment for several years. Boy, was I a mixed up kid back then! I’m using my actual diary entries from that time to illustrate what I went through psychologically trying to be this perfect “Christian” that the church I was going to at the time said I had to be. Here is a sneak peak at the introduction to the book:

“This book is one I’ve thought about writing for a while now and finally decided to just do it. As the title suggests, this is indeed one of my own diaries from when I was a teenager and was being influenced by a fundamentalist Christian mentality that sought to isolate me from everyone around me, put fear and anxiety into my heart concerning every choice I had to make, and weighed down my conscience with constant guilt over every little real or imagined transgression.

I am using the first journal I happen to have, started when I was 14 and about to enter high school. The journal covers the time I was most influenced by fundamentalist, almost cult-like ideas.

This religion told me it was wrong to wear pants as a woman. They told me it was wrong to cut my hair or wear jewelry and makeup. They told me it was wrong to listen to secular music, go to the movies, or watch tv. The internet was evil as well. They told me it was wrong to have friends that weren’t “holy” believers. They tried to make me feel like women were simply made to be complements to men, not to have dreams, goals, or lives of their own.

This religion had me constantly fearing the presence and “possession” of demons and thinking that my future didn’t matter because Jesus was coming back soon anyway, so I wouldn’t live long enough to have much of an earthly life. They even discouraged use of “man-made” medicine because it supposedly showed a lack of faith in God’s healing powers.

I have lightly edited the journal entries to make them easier to read, but have otherwise left the content as is. I have inserted italic comments in parentheses when I felt I needed to clarify something. I did leave out parts I felt were uninteresting or just don’t matter overall. I hope you enjoy reading it and can see how fundamentalist religious environments can be extremely damaging to children and teens.”

Not Having the Best Week

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This hasn’t been a great week for me. I’ve been struggling with headaches, earaches, fatigue, and stomach issues physically, and then on top of that I’ve been rather depressed and lethargic. Last weekend we were supposed to go to a baby animals festival I always love, but I didn’t feel up to it either day. Tomorrow is my 16th wedding anniversary, but I don’t feel much like celebrating, even though I am very thankful for my wonderful husband.

We also found out that my husband’s health insurance through his work is going up $100 a month and that I might actually be dropped from the plan now that I have SSDI and can get Medicare. I’m not sure how that might affect my current healthcare and doctors. I really hate our healthcare system here in America.

I guess a couple of good things I can concentrate on are that I just hit over 2,000 Instagram followers, and am only 5 subscribers away from 1,000 followers here on WordPress! If you don’t follow me already, please help me reach that goal!!! I would be most grateful and it would make me smile.