3 New Mixed Media ACEO Collages – Flowers, Bees, Music, and Holiday Glitter

DSC08752

DSC08753

DSC08754

(You can find these and more for sale on my Ebay store!)

Advertisements

I’m a High-Strung Mess

loom-1370375_960_720

I am currently a high-strung mess. As my SSDI hearing looms nearer and nearer, I find myself obsessing way too much over it and almost panicking about the fact that I feel powerless over what will happen in the end. I am trying to do absolutely everything I can think of to prepare for it and make sure we have good medical documentation especially, but that in itself is stressing me out because it means having to be assertive and ask for things from my physicians which I despise having to do. I HATE having to ask ANYONE for ANYTHING. It is just the way I am, but sometimes you have to do the things you hate…

I do not do well when I feel like I am not in control of a situation. My anxiety can’t handle the uncertainty and the endless waiting. I would almost rather deal with the worst case scenario immediately rather than be in limbo for months waiting for someone else to decide my fate. On top of that, I feel like I am annoying those around me (lawyer office employees, doctors, my poor husband) because of my intense anxiety state. I talked to a paralegal today and she told me to take a deep breath and relax lol. If only I could! I can do the deep breath, but the relaxing part just ain’t kicking in.

The heightened stress is taking a physical toll too, as it always does. My upper back/shoulder/neck area is flaring again to the point that I am regularly rolling on Lidocaine and had to take some Tramadol. The pain is so bad I can’t do any household tasks, which makes me feel bad too. Even typing this is painful and requires frequent breaks.

Now I feel like my whining is probably annoying all of you too lol. Sorry if that is the case, but I just needed to vent!

Crap Art Turned into Abstract Collages

I made some crap art last night lol, so I decided to just tear it up and make a few little weird collages out of it. I haven’t been in the mood to collage for well over a year, but I guess I was getting bored with drawing, painting, and adult coloring books, so was looking for a different way to express myself. These collages look very child-like, which is a style of art I actually tend to love:

DSC08744

DSC08745

DSC08746

These artworks (and many others) are currently for sale on my Ebay store, so check it out!

Poetry: Waiting for the Doctor

doctors-office-1944117_960_720

Waiting for the Doctor
By: Maranda Russell

Perch on the edge
kick the drawers down below
lay back
wish I had a pillow
turn to the side
curl up in a ball
poke a hole
through the thick
tissue paper cover
read the poster
about acid reflux
for the 15th time
flip onto back again
count the ceiling tiles
12 in all
play with the blood pressure
thingy on the wall
stand up
run the water in the sink
look through the cabinets
hear doorknob start to turn
hop back onto examination table
try to look innocent.