Admission: I’m one of those crazy folks that likes to prep for the apocalypse lol. Whether it be an economic collapse, climate change fallout, war, grid breakdown, or natural disaster, I want to be prepared, so I decided to try a new subscription box called SHTF Survival. This was my first box from them. Almost $60 worth of stuff for $20, so not bad:
Included in this month’s box:
First Aid Emergency Tourniquet – $9.99 (retail)
USMC Pocket Knife – $19.99
12 in 1 Octopus Keychain – $6.99
7 in 1 Whistle Compass – $6.99
Bug Out Solar Lighter – $4.99
Gun Sock – $9.99
I must admit I was hoping more for stuff like survival food, but some of this stuff was neat. The pocket knife is really good quality. The tourniquet could certainly come in handy in an emergency, as could the solar lighter, the whistle/compass/thermometer combo, and the octopus keychain which can do everything from opening a bottle to working as a screwdriver of many sizes and types and even adjust bicycle spokes (even though I don’t have a bicycle lol).
I think sometimes that being chronically ill makes me feel even more vulnerable were there a catastrophe of any kind, so trying to be prepared for worst case scenarios can make me feel a wee bit better. Honestly, I don’t know how to hunt or do much of anything outdoorsy even if I were healthy enough to do it, but luckily my husband does have those skills 🙂
I’m feeling rough tonight, maybe because last night I went to a little Christmas-themed park and got really cold, which often tends to aggravate my CFS, Fibromyalgia, and Ehlers Danlos joint issues. I had a great time though and wanted to share a few fun pics of the night.
Here is me getting cozy with the Gingerbread Man:
Who doesn’t love a big fire pit when it’s cold out?
Here is some crazy guy climbing the giant Christmas tree (I’m guessing he wasn’t supposed to be doing that):
Is it just me, or are these trees a bit spooky?
Pretty lights on the water:
Just like with my thoughts and feelings, my self image changes so wildly with my mood. A good example of this is my view of my looks and/or attractiveness. Most days I think I look average when I look in a mirror. I’m not delusional, thinking I am some kind of supermodel or show-stopping beauty, but I also don’t feel like I am a troll or a goblin.
Once in a while, when I am slightly or fully hypomanic, I look in the mirror and think I am beautiful. I will never be gorgeous in the artificial Hollywood kind of way, but when my mood is just right I can see a kind of classic or wholesome beauty in myself that I like.
But then there are days, like one I had recently, when I feel as if I am sitting in the rock bottom level of despair and gloom. On days like these, I may accidentally catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror (because I wouldn’t intentionally look), and upon viewing my reflection, I feel down to my very soul that I must be the ugliest thing in existence.
Bipolar and other mood disorders can skew our view of reality so much, sometimes I feel like I am living in different realities from day to day. Today isn’t too good, but it ain’t too bad either, so I guess average wins out again.
I really should know better by now. I really should learn to just disengage with ignorant or narrow-minded people who refuse to even consider any viewpoint but their own. I should learn that it takes away from my happiness and peaceful life by wandering into pointless debates with people who I know I’m never going to get to even consider an idea that has any nuance or depth to it.
My therapist today encouraged me to disengage from these people, to stop letting them level personal attacks at me over simple differences of opinion. If I want to stop being bullied or pushed around, I have to stop allowing it. Of course, none of this applies to you guys (my blog followers), but more has to do with people on other social media who I happen to be acquaintances with in my real life. Even if they are distant familial relations, I have no obligation to let them project their crazy, illogical, rigid way of thinking onto me.
If you are going to tell me that I am evil, immoral, or dishonest just because I don’t believe what you believe, I really don’t need you in my life.