Feeling a little discouraged today about the whole getting healthy thing. This always happens when I try to change my bad habits. At first I’m all gung ho, ready-to-change-the-world optimism, but normally after a little bit of time, the excitement starts to fade and then when the pain gets bad or chronic illness creeps up on me again, I start feeling like it is hopeless and that nothing I do does any good.
I AM NOT giving up, but just wanted to be honest about where I’m at right now. Yesterday was a bad IBS day, so I spent most of the day in bed and having to be super careful about what I eat. Today hasn’t been much better. Also, am dealing with low level migraine symptoms and still having significant pain in my injured hand. If it isn’t better by tomorrow, the doctor wants me to get more xrays, and at this point it is hard to believe it will be better by then.
Lastly, It is raining today, so most of my favorite exercise activities aren’t as attractive 😦
1) No matter how many artworks you create or sell, there is always this niggling voice in the back of your head asking, “Am I really talented or is all this a fluke? What if my artistic muse abandons me and I never make another meaningful work of art?”
2) There is a point in almost every artwork that I start that I feel it is total crap and just want to rip it to shreds. Sometimes resisting that impulse is extremely hard. Often, even the best, most successful pieces of artwork I have created barely escaped the shredder.
3) The whole Money vs. Love issue. Do you create what you love, even if it doesn’t sell, or do you create what you know will likely sell? I have tried to do both but find it doesn’t work for me to try to create anything just because it is “popular” or will sell. I inevitably lose interest in the project and get depressed because I am not being true to myself. Luckily, my art is selling more and more even though I am following my bliss instead of the dollar signs. However, I realize that my situation is not the same as anybody else’s and some people have to do what they have to do to pay the bills and put food on the table. I respect them for that and hope they can also find time to do whatever feeds their soul.
4) People just don’t realize how expensive professional art materials can be! How many artists get the look asking why they charge so much for their art? I used to wonder that too when I would see a hefty price tag on a piece of art…but now I understand. Most of us really don’t make much profit from handmade things…even if they seem expensive. I’ve also noticed that people are often confused by how much it costs to ship artwork, especially if the object is large, heavy, being sent to another country or the buyer wants special postal services.
5) The absolute worst thing about being an artist in my opinion? When you go through a dry spell and nothing (or at least not much) sells. It can make you want to give up entirely and wonder how people like Van Gogh kept going when they never sold much of anything (of course then I remember that he did cut off his ear and eventually committed suicide – which doesn’t cheer me up much). In the end, I guess it is the passion and the obsession that keeps us going…and hopefully the depression from feeling unpopular even lends itself to a deeper display of emotion that improves our work or adds a new depth to it. At least that is how I like to look at it.