The dollies and my bunny say hello! The baby doll in the panda suit is a new addition to my collection, but sadly, he has some issues (floppy, loose head) and I may have to return him and get another one. The outfit that the bunny is wearing I got at a thrift store for less than a buck! Good deals! I also got some more vintage puzzles that I’m sure I will be sharing images of soon!
Ok, now with the cuteness aside, I’ve had a rough few days. A lot of mood swings, anxiety, and depression. I’ve also been feeling insecure and sometimes like I don’t even know who I really am. I wonder if that is why I try so hard to figure out what conditions I actually have and what is wrong with me…because I need an outside force (be it a doctor or diagnosis) to TELL me who I am. I know this kind of feeling is normal when you are a teenager and just figuring out who you are, but I’m 35 freakin’ years old! Shouldn’t I know by now?
I even find myself questioning my blogging efforts. I wonder if anyone really likes the stuff I am into (particularly the toys and puzzles and stuff like that), or am I just boring everyone? But if I talked about nothing on the blog but my mental and physical problems, wouldn’t that get boring in itself? See, I am doing far too much overthinking and that always leads to picking out flaws and beating myself up. It wouldn’t matter WHAT I did on here, I would feel like it isn’t worthwhile sometimes and like I am a burden to others.
I know in my heart, that these feelings of inadequacy are not something that anyone else can clear away for me. It wouldn’t matter how much praise or reassurance I received from others as long as I am still doubting myself inside. I guess at least I recognize that. I appreciate all you guys sticking with me through all the ups and downs. Having a place to open up like this makes a huge difference.
Another post for you today! My husband took me out to do a bit of shopping therapy to try to help get me out of my depressed funk. The weather outside is absolutely abysmal (constant rain and gloom), but I still had fun!
We went to Toys R Us, which is already marking everything down for the store closing. I am terribly sad to see Toys R Us go, and hope that somehow they are able to make a comeback at some point. There are so few toy stores around anymore! Here is what I found today there:
The “Bee Happy” baby outfit was 20% off and is Newborn size, so it should fit my reborn doll. If not, I’m sure it will fit some of my stuffed animals. I just thought the bee motif was too cute to pass up. I also picked up the Despicable Me unicorn mealtime set that I have wanted for a while. I love the unicorn from the movie, and I actually use these types of plastic cartoon cups, bowls, and plates myself more than I use regular dishware.
After Toys R Us, we did a little thrifting. I got a fun Playpad activity book (these are fun to do while I’m watching YouTube vids), some new pencils, and a couple more newborn size outfits for my doll. The green outfit has a cute orange whale on it and I also found a cute pair of brand new monkey booties.
This weekend I did some thrift store shopping! I found a few cute outfits for my new reborn doll (whom I decided to name Amelia after a character in a YA book I read recently called “A Tragic Kind of Wonderful”). For about six bucks I got these three outfits for her:
I also found this cute preemie 3-piece giraffe and elephant set for only $5:
Lastly, we went to a new bargain used bookstore, which sells bundles of children’s books (around 10 books for $5). Part of the fun of buying the bundle is that you can’t really see what all you get until after you buy it, so it is somewhat of a surprise when you open the package and see what all books you got:
Of the books I got in this bundle, my favorites are the “Spooky Friends”, “Cinderella” (from the live action movie version), Elmo’s World, and the “Penguin Skating Party” ones. I also picked up the cute cloth alphabet blocks you see to the right of the books in the photo for only $.99 at the thrift store where I got the baby clothes.
I got my first reborn baby doll in the mail yesterday! Now, as I mentioned in my first post about buying the doll, I didn’t buy one of the ones that is hundreds of dollars, so it isn’t as lifelike as many of the higher priced ones are, but I still really like her! She has bright blue eyes with the most adorable eyelashes and strong, rooted light brown mohair, which feels a lot like real hair.
When I first got her out of the package, I could see that I was going to have to tidy up her hair, which was a bit too long for my liking in the front, but I think I have it evened out pretty well now. The sad thing is that she doesn’t really fit well into the newborn clothing I bought for her. It is too big and definitely too long. I’ve found that the preemie outfits fit her just about right though.
She doesn’t weigh as much as a real baby, but is weighted some so that she is much nicer to hold than your typical cheap superstore baby dolls. She really smells like baby powder too! Reminds me of Cabbage Patch dolls in that way. I haven’t named her yet, so far just been calling her “Baby”. Any suggestions?
My recent renewed passion for baby dolls and stuffed animals has me wondering as it often has, whether I have some kind of suppressed motherhood longing or something like that. Many people have asked me why I don’t have kids of my own, and that is a subject that has several dimensions.
First off, I’m not sure I CAN have kids of my own. When I was 10 years old I sustained some internal damage due to being hit and run over by a delivery truck while crossing the street. It was a scary experience, partly because when I woke up in the hospital I had no control of my legs. They were shaking and moving on their own, but I had no motor control of them. Luckily that didn’t last too long, but the doctors did mention that the internal damage done might cause me issues down the road, including having children.
Perhaps since I always thought I might not be able to have kids, I convinced myself early I didn’t want any? It is also highly suspected that I have endometriosis, which can greatly affect fertility. My husband and I haven’t always been very careful and there are plenty of times I could have potentially gotten pregnant but didn’t, so I figured it just wasn’t in the cards.
Another reason I have not sought out having my own children is my desire to not pass down some of the problems I have struggled with my whole life. Autism and bipolar run heavily in my immediate family – everyone has bipolar or a mood disorder to some extent. Many in my family also share some of my physical ailments that cause me so much agony, making me fear those might be genetic as well. I wouldn’t wish what I have had to live through on anyone, and certainly not on an innocent child.
Lastly, when it comes to the idea of giving birth, it has always terrified me. I’m not sure if I died in childbirth in a past life or what happened, but even as a little child the thought of having a baby terrified me. I always knew somehow that it would be extremely painful and dangerous, even though I never saw it firsthand and no one told me that as far as I remember. I still wonder to this day why the thought of giving birth scared me so much even back then.
I did lean heavily towards considering adoption when my husband and I were fostering, but we never found the right match. When we had to quit fostering due to my increasingly poor health, I kind of gave up on my dream of adopting. I still sometimes daydream about adopting, but with my mental and physical health the way it is, I just don’t think it would necessarily be a good idea.
I bought this newborn baby outfit from Dollar General (on sale for 50% off) for my new reborn doll. Since I haven’t gotten the doll yet, I stuck it on this Disney “Shake It Up” bunny from Build a Bear. I thought it looked so cute I had to share 🙂
So, as I said the other day, right now I am in a doll phase, specifically reborn dolls, which are dolls that are made to look and feel more like real infants. While I’ve been surfing the internet reading about these dolls and looking at pics of the ones available, I have also come across several articles about using these dolls as legitimate therapy, which is something I hadn’t even considered.
One article was about reborn dolls being used as therapy with Alzheimer’s and dementia patients. In certain nursing homes they have done studies where they used these life-like dolls to treat anxiety and depression in patients and found that the dolls greatly helped with both of those problems, even making it so that many of the patients no longer needed psychotropic medications.
Interestingly, the article said the therapy works the best if the patient is introduced to the doll while they are still coherent enough to know the doll is not real. I found that rather fascinating. For many of these patients, over time they become truly attached to the dolls and do often start to think they are real babies, but that is understandable given their medical condition.
Another article I read spoke about the therapeutic effect these dolls have had for some parents who have lost small children of their own or who had stillbirths/miscarriages. Some of these grief-stricken parents have even had dolls made to look exactly like the child they lost, which strikes me as truly sad, but if it helps them work through their grief, I think that is a good thing. I do wonder though if some of them may actually end up obsessing over the loss to an unhealthy extent, but to tell the truth, I’m not sure the loss of a child is something you could ever truly get over anyhow.
What do you think about these dolls being used as therapy? Does it seem creepy or weird to you? Or do you think it is a great idea?
I’m not sure if you guys will find this interesting or not, but it is part of who I am, so thought I’d share. Lately I’ve been really into toy collecting again, which is a passion of mine that kind of comes and goes. I mostly collect dolls and stuffed animals, although I do have a fairly large collection of action figures and miniature toys as well.
Yesterday I decided to take some old toys I’m done with to Once Upon a Child (a secondhand children’s shop) in hopes of making a little bit of money from selling them. I was surprised to make over $50 from it all! I was hoping to maybe make $20…so that was quite impressive! I spent a bit of the money at the store on some new Build a Bear and doll clothes, but still left with over $40.
I decided to take the money I had left over and buy something I have always wanted…my own reborn baby doll! I love the attention to detail on these dolls and hope that it looks as good in person as it does in the photos. Here is a photo of the 18″ doll I purchased:
I was happy to find one with blue eyes and brown hair (like me!). I’m really excited to see her in person, but since I had to order her from China, it will be a few weeks probably. I hope once I get her that she will fit into actual baby clothes, I have always wanted a doll that I could dress in real baby clothes.
PS…Let me know if you guys find stuff like this interesting or if it bores you. Collecting toys is a passion of mine, so I may share it occasionally, but I don’t want to bore everyone to death.