Tag: doubt

  • Spiral of Anxiety and Fear

    I am feeling so incredibly stressed about my upcoming SSDI hearing and everything related to it. It has become an obsessive thought pattern that I can’t get out of. This always happens when something I am super nervous or scared about is looming on the horizon. My mind is a circular track of “what ifs”, […]

  • Does Any of It Matter?

    Do you ever wonder if it all matters? I sure do. I try to be positive most of the time when I think about the things I do and whether they make a difference, but when I get depressed, the voices of doubt tend to get louder. They say some pretty mean things: Are you […]

  • Who Do I Want to Be as an Artist?

    Today I was inspired by a blog post from Judith over at Artistcoveries, in which she asks the question – Who do I want to be as an artist? I love thinking about stuff like this, so I wrote the question down in my journal and brainstormed my own answers. Here is what I came […]

  • Poetry: Church Abuse

    Church Abuse By: Maranda Russell The lace unravels. The smaller holes become bigger tears as the candle wax hardens on the soft, satin cloth. Prayers, and pleas and petitions abound, but the altar lies irrevocably ruined.

  • Hypersensitivity to Criticism

    Recently my therapist and I have been talking about and working on my hypersensitivity to criticism. I have always had some hypersensitivity to any kind of criticism or rebuke. As a kid, I was the one you could make cry by looking at me wrong or even gently scolding me. I still tear up over […]

  • Short Poetry – Doubt Lingers

    I love short poetry, it is actually my favorite kind of poetry. There is something magical about being able to express a truth, or paint a vivid image, with only a few words. So, when I woke up today with these few lines echoing in my head, I had to write them down and share: […]

  • Poetry Bits and Pieces

    Hi! I was flipping through my journal today and thought maybe I would share a few random bits of poetry with you! These are poetry bits that never made it into larger poems, but I still kind of like them! 1) “My soft, strawberry soul thrives like cold rain in the quiet shade of the […]

  • Feeling Insecure and Confused

    Feeling Insecure and Confused

    The dollies and my bunny say hello! The baby doll in the panda suit is a new addition to my collection, but sadly, he has some issues (floppy, loose head) and I may have to return him and get another one. The outfit that the bunny is wearing I got at a thrift store for […]

  • Artistic Loneliness

    Artistic Loneliness

    I’d show you my soul, open it up before you and hold it to the light, but I worry you’d laugh shredding any self-confidence that has snuck through my long line of offenses and survived. ~Maranda Russell

  • Life is Pain

    Life is Pain

    Life is pain. And I don’t mean that in some philosophical bullshit way…(or maybe I do?) Life is pain, whether it be physical, mental, emotional, or existential. The gentle yearning ache of a heart perpetually unfulfilled… The bittersweet bile of nostalgia creeping up one’s throat… The sharp bite of our unreliably aging bones… The mind-numbing […]