Writing Prompt: $1,000 to Spend

32140-425x282-BookCopyright

Today’s writing prompt: If you were given $1,000 to spend right now and you had to spend it, what would you buy?

My response: If someone gave me $1,000 to spend right now and I couldn’t save any of it, I would go on a fun shopping spree! The top things that come to mind to buy are books and toys of course! There are a bunch of books on Amazon I have been wanting to get for a while, so I’m sure I would grab up a bunch of those. Lately I have especially been interested in getting some of the poetry collections written by people who have bipolar disorder. I would also do quite a bit of shopping on Ebay, getting certain toys and collectibles that I have been wanting for my collections. The Funko mini Heroes series comes to mind since I have been collecting those recently.

I would also likely grab some new agey or pagan stuff. There are some t-shirts put out by The Mountain company that I would love to have that feature all kinds of cool designs. I would probably buy my husband that 3-D Star Trek chess set he has always wanted too. Pretty much, I would buy the stuff I always buy, just in greater quantities! Oh! And I would pick up the new Halloween candle at Bath & Body Works! And do some shopping at the PINK store at the mall! And Hot Topic! Man, now I really wish I had that $1,000!

Advertisements

I Dreamed I Was Black Last Night

tornado-funnel-cloud

I had an interesting dream last night and thought I would share, partly just because I found it weird and wonder what it meant, and partly because I think maybe there was a pearl of wisdom to be found in it about race relations.

In the dream my family and I were scared because a tornado was announced to be coming straight at our home. We don’t have a basement, so we ran to the neighbors’ house to beg them to take us in and give us shelter in their basement. The first family we asked said no. Interestingly, they were the same race as we were in the dream. The second family (a white couple with a baby) agreed, and not only did they take us in, but they offered to take in another family as well.

Now, at this point it is necessary to say that while I am about as white as you can get in real life, in the dream, myself and all my family were black, and it didn’t seem the slightest bit odd or out of place that our race had changed. The other family our neighbors agreed to take in was black as well. I remember looking around at all of us gathered together and thinking that the white couple was probably uncomfortable around that many black people. Weird thought to have, but it is honestly what I thought in the dream.

While we were all huddling together in the basement, the tornado hit and it was an experience I will never forget. It was SO painful physically. The force of the noise and the vibration was agonizing. In the dream all of us started screaming simply to try to release some of the tension in our heads and bodies from the vibration and furious sounds. I have no idea if that is what a real tornado is like or not, but it shocks me even now to think of how much it hurt in the dream and how vicious it was. It almost makes me wonder if past lives are a real thing, and if they are, if I didn’t endure a tornado in a past life. Maybe someone out there can tell me if that is anything like what a real tornado feels like.

That was pretty much the end of the dream. We all survived and the damage wasn’t really that bad to the house. But the whole race relations thing has been niggling at me all day. I feel there is something profound there for me to learn. If you want to take a shot at dream interpretation, please feel free to give it a shot in the comments!

Writing Prompt: What Would Your Happy Ending Look Like?

32140-425x282-BookCopyright.jpg

For a while I’ve been wanting to start posting occasional writing prompts to my blog. Just a question or two or a spark of an idea to hopefully inspire you guys to take up your pen/pencils/keyboard and write out your thoughts and feelings. Even if you aren’t a writer by profession like myself, writing out your ideas, beliefs, and emotions can be extremely therapeutic. I plan to post the prompt itself and then do a short writing response myself to the prompt to hopefully inspire you further or help you get to know me even better. So today’s prompt is…

What would you envision as a happy ending to your own life?

My response: If I could plan the perfect ending to my life, it would look something like this: Most importantly, I would die loved and surrounded by people who will genuinely miss me. I hate to think of hurting people by leaving when they want me to stick around, but it is much better than the alternative of dying all alone and having either no one to care or having a funeral where only the officiator shows up.

Secondly, I would like to go out a success. What does that mean to me? Not being rich necessarily, although it would mean not dying penniless or homeless or from starvation and lack of medical care. I would have enough resources to meet my needs and a few pleasures on a regular basis. I would die having left a large positive impact on the world, being respected for what I did, inspiring others to be more creative and compassionate, and having contributed to helping many people think about important things more thoroughly and reasonably.

Lastly, a good death to me would mean that all the people and things I loved and leave behind (family, friends, books, toys) will all have found good homes of their own and others who appreciate and love them as much as I did.

Video diary/blog (video 3) dream interpretation & insight

Before I share today’s video blog link, I wanted to explain that the reason I am doing so many video blogs right now is because I injured my right shoulder/arm/back and it is really hard to do much of anything with my right arm, including typing much. So I figured it would be a good time to try out a video blog and see how it works.

This new video is about dreams. I am a big believer in dreams having both psychological and possibly spiritual insight. So I explore that concept in this video by talking about a couple recent dreams and the insight I got from my interpretation of them. I have read books by professionals about dream interpretation, but I have always believed that we hold the keys to the meaning of our dreams and can interpret them better ourselves. If nothing else, you might find the trip into my dream-mind interesting ūüôā

Is suicide an unforgivable sin? A bit of hope for those left behind.

Overdose

I am feeling impressed tonight to share something very personal….which is kind of odd because what I feel I should share actually happened over a year ago. However, I just feel very strongly that I am being asked to share this and hope that maybe it will help someone somewhere who is dealing with the loss of a loved one due to suicide.

Now, first off, I want to say that coming from a conservative Christian family, I was always taught that suicide was a sin that would get you sent straight to hell. It was murder and since you would die from the action before you could repent of it, you were out of luck if you later regretted it. Personally, I always doubted this belief, but when my sister committed suicide almost two years ago, these thoughts did make me worry about what would happen to her. I hoped and prayed¬†that God would have mercy on her since she had been in horrible physical, emotional and mental pain at the time of her overdosing, but I didn’t¬†really know¬†what she was thinking or feeling¬†the night¬†she took¬†far too many pills and then went to bed never to wake up again. I still wonder if she really knew she would die from her actions or was just desperate to rid herself of the pain, but I don’t know for sure¬†and probably never will.

Anyhow, the incident that really affected me and made me feel that she was ok happened about 6 months or so after her¬†death. I had already dreamed of her many times, odd dreams of doing routine stuff like shopping together or fighting like when we were kids. None of my dreams of her were realistic or made sense in the waking world…until the night I went to sleep and had the following dream:

When the dream began, my sister and I met in a huge hall or maybe an entranceway to some building that I didn’t recognize. When we saw each other, it was like we could communicate telepathically. I knew she was dead. She knew she was dead. Both of us knew how she had died and what it had done to those she left behind. She apologized to me, the most heartfelt apology I have ever gotten. She explained how she never meant to hurt me or her other loved ones. She admitted that she made a huge mistake and regretted it.

At that point, I asked her what had happened to her. I will never forget her answer. She¬†told me that God was so much more loving and forgiving than we could even imagine. That God forgave her and was giving her¬†a chance to work it out¬†and try to make things better.¬†It shocked me to hear these things since my sister wasn’t a Christian or religious in the conventional sense. She had always had curiosity about God, but had pushed religion away due to the strict and¬†overly judgemental¬†religious upbringing we had as kids. She never explained exactly what God was having her do, but just that he was giving her the opportunity to¬†make up for her mistakes in some way.

At that point, we hugged and it felt so good. It felt like her. It smelled like her. I had all the senses that I normally have while awake. After we hugged, she just kind of dissolved¬†into light and was gone and the dream ended.¬†In the morning, when I awoke, I can not even describe the kind of relief this experience gave me. It brought me closure and gave me the chance to say goodbye. To me, it will always be more than a dream, but I realize it is easy to be skeptical when you haven’t experienced something like this yourself. Anyhow, I just hope that maybe this simple but meaningful experience of mine may encourage or¬†comfort others going through similar things. Please feel free to leave a message below if you have anything to say on this topic.

I was a paranoid kid…is that normal?

Tonight I’ve been thinking about what a paranoid kid I used to be. I started thinking about the subject when 3 of my cats started acting totally crazy tonight. For some reason they are agitated, anxious messes¬†and seem to think there is something scary in one area of the house, even though I see nothing there. It was starting to creep me out a bit since I am the only adult awake in the house right now. So those thoughts brought back childhood fears and paranoid delusions. Now I am wondering is every kid the freaked out mess I was? Here are a few examples:

  • As a kid I firmly believed that Satan lived under my bed. I have no recollection of where this idea came from, but it was firm. If I happened to have an arm or a leg hanging over the edge of the bed at night, I believed that was an invitation to Satan to grab hold of me and pull me under into Hell. Even after all these years, I still find myself unconsciously trying to keep from having an arm or leg dangle off the bed
  • I also believed that at night three witches would meet in my room to brew potions and cast spells. As long as they thought I was asleep, I thought I would be safe, but I knew if they noticed I was awake, they would have to kill me.
  • One of my childhood friends (I can’t remember who) told me that Freddy Krueger could get to you through the bath tub drain. His metal hand would come up and slice you to death right in the tub. For that reason I was super scared to take a bath for a while.
  • Then there were my dreams. One of a group of nuns abducting me, tying me up and sewing my mouth shut so I couldn’t scream. Another of Jesus visiting and turning into Satan right before my eyes. The one where my mom and dad were getting married in my grandparents’ yard and Satan showed up, wrapped his cape around them and took them to Hell in a fiery exit. And last, but not least, the great cosmic dream where God and Satan fought a major battle over my living room coffee table (apparently it was their biggest fight to date for some reason). Can you tell yet, that I seemed to have a childhood obsession with Satan for some reason? Maybe it was because my grandfather was a hellfire and brimstone preacher…honestly, I really don’t remember why I feared Satan so much.

So what do you think? Was I extra-neurotic as a kid or are these pretty common fears among children? What were your weird fears as a kid?

Amateur art, weird dreams and inspiring lizards

I am an amateur artist ūüôā I don’t try to be a professional, academic or intellectual artist. I just have fun, experiment and see where my creativity takes me. Sometimes things turn out horrible and sometimes they turn out looking pretty darn cool (to me at least). My goal is not to be rich or become the next Picasso, I just want to create like a child – with that unexplainable, undeniable joy that most adults sadly lack. With that said, I thought I would share a few of my most recent
“works” and the stories behind them. I hope you enjoy and are inspired to take out your own markers, crayons or paints and just have fun!

"Dream Snake" in marker

“Dream Snake” in marker

The above picture, simply titled “Dream Snake” was inspired by a strange dream I had. In the dream, an orange snake that looked just like the one in the picture chased me around. Instead of slithering around, it rolled around like a baton and its “pom poms” on the side shook and sounded kind of like a rattler as it chased me. At one point in the dream, I jumped out of the way and the snake rolled off the edge of the floor and turned into a ghost-man on a horse before crashing into a sewer hole far below. Man, dreams are weird, aren’t they?

The following two pictures are both inspired by the same thing, the skin of a lizard. This particular lizard had green & yellow scales with reddish dots on its skin. The patterns and colors really caught my attention and came out when I sat down to draw and paint. Would you ever guess the two following pictures were inspired by the same thing?

"Lizard Skin" in marker

“Lizard Skin” in marker

"Lizard Skin #2" in watercolor

“Lizard Skin #2” in watercolor

Well, I hope you enjoyed this little art break. If you did, please hit the “like” button or leave a comment so I will know!