Birthday Party Anxiety

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Today is my husband’s birthday. At his work (he teaches special education), they are holding a special party for him this afternoon and his coworkers reached out to invite me. I am going to go, but I must admit I am nervous. I’ve never actually met his coworkers since they are fairly new, so that is a little intimidating to me (having to meet them all at one time).

For some reason, I am super nervous about having to go to the office to check in as a guest…I know I am 35 years old and it is kind of ridiculous to be nervous about something so simple, but I am what I am. I am also worried about the drive, because it is about a 40 minute drive and that is way out of my comfort zone as far as driving goes.

I must admit when I first heard about the party, my first instinct was to say I couldn’t make it. Anxiety is a powerful force. But in the end, my love for my husband won out and I want to be there for him more than I want to be comfortable or free from anxiety. I guess love is an even more powerful force…

Sweet Freedom

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I finally have a car again! Since April of last year, my husband and I have only had one car between us. During the summer it wasn’t so bad because he doesn’t work, but when he returned to his position as a special education teacher this year, I started really getting feelings of being trapped at home and desperately wanting to get out, even if it was simply to run an errand or two or people watch (one of my favorite past-times).

We started looking for a car a few weeks ago, using some money I had earned from writing and some savings we had socked away. We only had around $2,000-$3,000 dollars, so we were definitely working on a budget. We finally found a good, reliable used car last week and bought it, but we weren’t able to drive it until yesterday since we had to wait to get the plates and make sure our insurance was covering it now.

So now I have a car again!  I don’t plan to go out and do a lot (my health prevents that) but I can run down to the local post office, library, dollar stores, and McDonald’s myself now! Of course, we live out in the country, so there isn’t a ton of stuff to do within a few miles, but hey, something to do is better than nothing! Due to my health problems, I try not to drive more than 10-15 minutes away from home (I never know when the fatigue may worsen, IBS may flare up, or vertigo may strike), but at least I am feeling a bit more free and able to do things for myself!