-
Feeling Shitty
To be honest, I’m feeling pretty damn shitty today. Bad mood all over. I also can’t seem to do anything right today. I’ve knocked half the shit I tried to pick up or handle on the floor today. Feeling unloved, unlovable, and like everything is ultimately pointless and I don’t even like my own company […]
-
Complicated Mother’s Day
Mother’s Day always creates such a barrage of mixed emotions for me. There was a lot of trauma, abuse, mental illness, and foolish decisions that marked my childhood. My mother was far from a perfect parent. Luckily, she does admit to that and seems to be really trying to be a better person now, but […]
-
I Miss Having Kids Around
Today my husband and I went to go see one of his students dance in a special recital: Seeing all the cute little kids dressed up in their costumes and dancing made me really miss having kids around. I used to be almost constantly surrounded by kids between foster parenting, volunteering with the kids at […]
-
When Someone You Loved Embraces Ignorance
I have to be careful how I word this post as there is a slight (but unlikely) chance the person I am talking about might read it. However, it has been weighing heavily on my mind so I wanted to talk about it. There was a person in my personal life I was really close […]
-
Out of Anxiety Meds & Body Dysmorphia
I’ve had a rough few days. I think the main problem is that I’ve been out of my anxiety meds for a while because Buspirone is on national back-order for some reason, and my pharmacy doesn’t know when/if they will get it back in. I contacted my psychiatrist today to ask him to prescribe something […]
-
It Got Freaking Cold Overnight!
I woke up this afternoon (I am a late sleeper lol), and as soon as I put my feet on the floor I noticed it was freezing! Fall hit overnight it seems! Or maybe even winter! So, I had to break out my Garfield fleece pajama bottoms, my thick black cat slipper socks, and my […]
-
Short Poetry – Poured Out
Poured Out By: Maranda Russell Why do I feel like my poetry sucks? I try to write, only to find myself empty, poured out like milk and starting to curdle.