Tag: emotions

  • Poetry – Anxiety Lament

    Anxiety Lament By: Maranda Russell Clenched teeth and clenched fists accompany defiant eyes. I have high expectations but I avoid them all. Sick in the stomach, sick in the head, sick of this life. I would cry, but I never penciled it in today.

  • Does Any of It Matter?

    Do you ever wonder if it all matters? I sure do. I try to be positive most of the time when I think about the things I do and whether they make a difference, but when I get depressed, the voices of doubt tend to get louder. They say some pretty mean things: Are you […]

  • A Bipolar Self Image

    Just like with my thoughts and feelings, my self image changes so wildly with my mood. A good example of this is my view of my looks and/or attractiveness. Most days I think I look average when I look in a mirror. I’m not delusional, thinking I am some kind of supermodel or show-stopping beauty, […]

  • The Cold Commercialism of Society

    I am often disheartened by the cold commercialism of society. As I watch the rise of the giant corporations and mega conglomerates, I feel like life in general is becoming less conducive to humanity and relationships and more about flashy advertisements and raking in the money. Those few people running the world don’t just seem […]

  • I Have Autism, and I Yearn to Feel I Belong

    This may be a post that is hard for neurotypicals to relate to – I’m honestly not sure. But, as someone who has high-functioning autism (Aspergers), I find that I have always had a deep internal yearning for something that I don’t know how to get or how to keep – and that is a […]

  • Late Night, Can’t Sleep Thoughts

    The following is a journal entry of random thoughts and feelings I wrote down one night when I couldn’t sleep. As you can probably tell, I wasn’t in the best mood when I wrote it: “Lately I’ve been deeply struggling with so many dark thoughts. Not necessarily dark thoughts about myself, but about the world […]

  • New Original Art Drawings! Feeling Creative Again!

    I’ve been feeling artistic and creative again lately, which is an awesome feeling. Honestly, when I don’t feel creative at all, I don’t feel like myself. That in itself can add to my depression and anxiety. Sometimes I wonder if some of the meds I take don’t affect my creative output. It is a common […]

  • Good Therapy Session Update, and Books for Emotional Healing

    Good Therapy Session Update, and Books for Emotional Healing

    I had a really good therapy session today. We talked more about the symptoms I am currently experiencing which might be related to a mood disorder vs what might be related to PTSD and my past. On the mood disorder (or Bipolar) front, I think I have made some progress, especially when it comes to […]

  • Losing Blog Followers and Self-Doubt

    Losing Blog Followers and Self-Doubt

    It is hard for me to be emotionally vulnerable about things that hurt my feelings or make me feel worthless, but my #1 goal with this blog is total honesty, so I’m going to share what I’m struggling with right now. Yesterday I lost at least 5 blog followers. I gained 2 I believe, so […]

  • Slump Me Over and Leave Me to Die

    Slump Me Over and Leave Me to Die

    This image from Pixabay pretty much illustrates exactly how I feel today. Just slump me over and leave me to die. I’m not sure which is worse today, my depression or my exhaustion…but I suppose they are best buds anyhow and pretty damn hard to separate.