experience

New Blog Theme, TMJ, and Being Silly for Halloween!

| marandarussell

Hi everyone! First off, I want to say that I changed the theme (appearance) of my blog slightly. I don’t know if you all will notice or not, especially if you read most of my posts on WordPress’s reader function, but for those who actually visit my blog address, I hope you like the changes. I thought it was a bit more visually appealing, especially for sharing art and poetry, which I like to do.

Yesterday was the first day since my wisdom tooth surgery I was able to get out and have some fun. We didn’t do anything major, just went out to eat (still having to eat soft foods, so we opted for pasta), and did some Halloween shopping at Goodwill, where I decided to try on a couple “spooky” accessories:

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It was fun just playing around and being goofy after being sick at home for so long. The surgery pain is much better, although I’m pretty sure that this whole ordeal has brought on a flare-up of TMJ (a jaw joint disorder), which I have had issues with in the past. It still hurts to open my mouth very wide, talk much, chew anything, or smile big.

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Another Post Surgery Update: If It Can Go Wrong, It Will

| marandarussell

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Hello everyone! I don’t want to bore you all with the continuing mini-drama of my wisdom tooth surgery aftermath, but I know many of you genuinely want to know how I’m doing, so I decided to do another update, this time I’ll just bullet-list what has been going on the past few days:

  • Wednesday I went to the dentist in the morning, where he did indeed diagnose me with dry socket. He cleaned out the area and then put a clove oil soaked material in there. It didn’t hurt much when he did that, but the incredibly strong taste of the cloves made me horribly nauseated the rest of the day and made everything taste disgusting. It was so strong, my husband could smell the cloves across the room when I had my mouth shut!
  • The clove stuff did eliminate most of the pain for a couple days, but this morning (Friday), that awful deep, throbbing ache has returned off and on. I do have more clove oil I bought, but the scent alone of it makes me so sick, I honestly don’t want to use it. Right now I am trying to get by taking the maximum amount of Ibuprofen and Tylenol, while occasionally using Ambesol to numb the area.
  • I do still have opioids left, and it is extremely tempting to use them, but I took them so much the first few days after the surgery that my bowels have become clogged pipes 😦 I hope that isn’t TMI, but it is a common side effect of opioids, and when you already have IBS like I do, I think you are even more prone to stuff like that. I have been taking stool softeners like crazy, eating mushy prunes, and even broke out a little Exlax, but nothing yet.
  • By the way, I forgot to mention that after I got home from the dentist on Wednesday, the blood clot on my other lower socket became dislodged and lost, so now I technically have TWO dry sockets. That was SO frustrating! If it was going to come out that day, why couldn’t it do so BEFORE I visited the dentist? Luckily, that side does seem to be a bit further along in healing, so it isn’t as painful overall as the other side, but it is still annoying.
  • I have also been running a fever off and on, which seems a bit concerning considering the amount of Ibuprofen and Tylenol I am taking. You would think that would knock out any fever. I can tell right away when I am running a fever because I will get these intense sweats, and become even more nauseated and dizzy than I am already. Most of the last few days I have had to spend flat on my back most of the time due to that dizziness and nausea.

Well, that pretty much covers the last few days. I hope this is over soon. I appreciate all the concern and comments you guys have been leaving. It means a lot to me when I am feeling so poorly, even if I don’t feel well enough to write long comments back.

Medication Nausea and Dry Sockets – Wisdom Teeth Removal Update

| marandarussell
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Image from Pixabay

I was pretty lucky the first couple days after my wisdom teeth surgery, so I was hoping for smooth sailing all the way…but I am running into some issues now. For one thing, the combination of antibiotics, pain killers, and NSAIDS started causing a good amount of nausea the last couple days. I often feel like throwing up, although I have been able to refrain from actually vomiting so far. I have suffered from emetophobia (fear of throwing up) almost my entire life, so I fight tooth and nail against it, but sometimes it can’t be stopped.

I am also starting to highly suspect that the tooth they took out on the left side of my jaw might be developing dry socket. There isn’t a blood clot in sight on that side and all you can really see is a big empty space with what looks like a little bit of bone sticking through at the bottom. I am trying to follow all the directions for recovery, including using a special mouthwash and doing warm salt water rinses, but the salt water is definitely making the nausea worse.

So, to sum it all up….I’m feeling pretty miserable today. My jaw is still sore, my ears are now aching as well, and it almost feels like it is getting harder to eat rather than easier. I’m trying to not let it get me down, but I am a little bummed that complications seem to be arising. I know if I wait it out, even the dry socket should resolve itself within 7-10 days, but that sounds like a long time right now.

Wisdom Teeth Surgery Aftermath…

| marandarussell

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Well, I got my wisdom teeth out yesterday and am actually feeling much better than expected. Sure, I am sore and it hurts to eat and brush, or open my mouth very wide, but honestly, this pain is NOTHING compared to the agony I often experience due to fibromyalgia, plantar fasciitis, and back/neck issues. I have been really tired, but I assume that is partly due to the aftereffects of the sedation.

After coming home yesterday, I spent the rest of the evening lying in bed, either napping, watching YouTube, tv, or reading. It was actually kind of an enjoyable, relaxing night. I didn’t quite look my best, but who does after surgery?:

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Luckily, I don’t remember any of the procedure at all. I remember the nurse asking me to move up the table before I got too groggy, and then that is the last thing I remember. I never even started feeling groggy, I was just OUT lol.

When I came to, I didn’t have any weird thoughts, conversations, or anything like that. I instantly knew where I was and what was going on. The first thing I asked (by text because I couldn’t speak with all the gauze in my mouth) was if they had broken my jaw during the surgery, which luckily, they didn’t have to do. I didn’t have any trouble getting up and walking out to the car, and only had a couple minutes of nausea on the way home, but nothing major. No throwing up or anything bad like that. I did take my opioid medication twice yesterday, but have been able to go without it so far today.

There was some post-op bleeding, but nothing too bad, although I did have to wash my pillow after following asleep and drooling blood all over it yesterday. One of my stitches already came loose, which has been annoying me, but I’m trying really hard to not pick at it. Overall, I’m so glad it is all over and very grateful that the recovery hasn’t been as bad as I feared so far!

In Case I am MIA Soon

| marandarussell

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Hi everyone! I wanted to write a short post just to say that I might be MIA this weekend (and maybe longer, who knows?) because I am having wisdom teeth surgery tomorrow. The teeth are impacted and oddly placed, so unfortunately, it isn’t expected to be a simple tooth-pulling operation (which definitely shows in how much I have to pay for it lol). Thank goodness they put you out for it!

I’m sure I will be fine, but as those of you with chronic illness/pain know, nothing is ever easy when you have autoimmune issues and inflammatory conditions that crop up every time your body is put under any kind of stress. I am hoping it won’t lead to a major flareup of my fibromyalgia or CFS, but I am preparing for the worst just in case.

I hope you guys will keep me in your thoughts and prayers (if you do that kind of thing). I could definitely use some positive energy sent my way!

Walking Towards Depression

| marandarussell

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I recently sold this oil pastel drawing shown above, but I wanted to share it because it is one of my favorite pieces I have done recently. If you can’t tell, the image is of a person and a little dog walking through a rainbow world (which represent happiness and life), but ahead of them lies the darkness of depression and they either don’t see it coming, or are impelled to continue walking, perhaps against their own will.

As someone who struggles with bipolar type 2 and chronic severe depressive episodes, this is clearly a personal feeling conjured into a visual image. I thought I would share though, because I bet some of you can relate to it too.

Back Doctor and Pain Management Clinic Rant – Why So Insensitive?

| marandarussell

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This is going to be a bit of a rant. Yesterday I received a letter from the orthopedic doctor and pain management clinic I was seeing for my upper back/neck pain. That letter turned my mood sour quickly. It said that I had been non-compliant with physical therapy and the spinal injections they had ordered, so they were kicking me out of the practice.

Why did it tick me off? Because the way they expressed it is totally not what we had discussed in person. First of all, I was not “non-compliant” with physical therapy. I tried it for several weeks and it WORSENED the pain rather than helping. It also caused widespread fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome flares throughout my body. This wasn’t the first time I had tried physical therapy, so I had been worried from the start, but they had promised they would accommodate my conditions, which they didn’t actually seem to do.

When I called the physical therapy office to explain that it was worsening my back pain and my fibromyalgia/cfs symptoms, they seemed understanding at the time. I was also having issues driving myself to therapy because when my back pain flares up, I can barely turn my head because of the neck pain. I asked the physical therapy office if I should perhaps try again in the summer when my husband could drive me, but the lady said that if the sessions were causing me that many problems, trying it again in the summer didn’t make much sense.

As for the spinal shots, the main reason I was fearful about going through with them is because they would not offer any kind of sedation. You see, I had been told how important it is for spinal injections that you be absolutely still during the process or you could cause damage to the spine. As an autistic person with severe sensory issues and intense over-sensitivity to any kind of sensory input (including pain), this worried me. I also have severe anxiety and that can sometimes make me shake and tremble involuntarily.

I had researched the shots and noticed that many other places offer sedation. I even talked to a few other people who had undergone the shots and had been sedated. I was not trying to be a pain or a drama queen, I was simply being cautious. Affording the shots was also a major issue at the time (since they required full payment up front), which I had explained to them.

In the end, I’m not upset that they were unable to further help me, I had already kind of figured that out. However, I am upset at the accusatory tone of the letter they sent me and the obvious insensitivity and lack of understanding for people who suffer from chronic pain/chronic illness and people who happen to have autism or other sensory processing difficulties. By the way, I will be sending them a letter back stating much of what I just said here. Hopefully they will learn something.

 

Psychiatrist Visit Update: I Hate Feeling Vulnerable!

| marandarussell

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I figured I would do a short follow up post about my psychiatrist visit a couple days ago. It went ok I guess. Instead of switching me off the Prozac, he decided to try upping it one more time to see if that would do the trick, but promised me that if that didn’t make me feel better we would try something new next time. He did mention Wellbutrin as a possibility, which I have never taken. If anyone has experience with that drug, please let me know your thoughts on it!

The first few minutes of our visit, we talked about Netflix and the shows I have been binge watching recently (Black Mirror, Atypical, Stranger Things, American Horror Story). Then he asked how therapy was going, and I felt like at that time I needed to admit how bad my depression had gotten and that my therapist was actually worried about how low I was feeling.

My psychiatrist asked me why I didn’t bring that up immediately when our session started and he kind of jumped to the conclusion that I was trying to be “a good patient and not complain”, but I had to explain to him that his assumption was wrong. I wasn’t trying to make things easier for him, it is just simply hard for me to talk to anyone in person about how bad I really feel when at my lowest. It makes me feel vulnerable and exposed, and I hate that.

I know that last sentence may seem weird, considering the fact that I am so open and bluntly honest in my blog writing about how low and horrible I feel sometimes, but it is just easier for some reason to write that all out to a blank page and post it to the ether of the internet. Being in front of a living, breathing human, it is so much harder to peel the layers away and let my real self be seen.

Meditating with a Crystal Healing Grid

| marandarussell

As you guys might know if you have read my blog for long, I have an interest in spirituality and new age stuff. Recently I discovered “crystal healing grids”, which are a simple tool for meditation and other metaphysical purposes. I decided to try them out, so I bought this raven/crow (I’m not positive which one it is supposed to be) themed one.

The official name of this grid pattern is “See Past the Darkness”, which I thought worked well with my issues overcoming my own kind of darkness (depression). It came in a little kit with the grid, the crystals, and instructions (although I tend to disregard instructions and do things my own way). In case you are into gemstones, the crystals used are amethyst (in the center), with clear quartz and Snowflake Obsidian alternating around the edges. These happen to be three of my favorite crystals, which is a bonus. I think it makes a pretty little decoration too:

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To be honest, I don’t know if meditating with stuff like this genuinely helps my depression or not, but I think that having something to concentrate on that represents positive thoughts and energy certainly can’t hurt!

If you guys are interested in trying out one of these grids for yourself, Ebay is where I have found them most easily, usually be just typing “healing crystal grid” into the search bar. You can find complete kits like the one I got, or just pick up a grid and use your own stones (or whatever else you wish to use). Happy hunting!