Admission: I’m one of those crazy folks that likes to prep for the apocalypse lol. Whether it be an economic collapse, climate change fallout, war, grid breakdown, or natural disaster, I want to be prepared, so I decided to try a new subscription box called SHTF Survival. This was my first box from them. Almost $60 worth of stuff for $20, so not bad:
Included in this month’s box:
First Aid Emergency Tourniquet – $9.99 (retail)
USMC Pocket Knife – $19.99
12 in 1 Octopus Keychain – $6.99
7 in 1 Whistle Compass – $6.99
Bug Out Solar Lighter – $4.99
Gun Sock – $9.99
I must admit I was hoping more for stuff like survival food, but some of this stuff was neat. The pocket knife is really good quality. The tourniquet could certainly come in handy in an emergency, as could the solar lighter, the whistle/compass/thermometer combo, and the octopus keychain which can do everything from opening a bottle to working as a screwdriver of many sizes and types and even adjust bicycle spokes (even though I don’t have a bicycle lol).
I think sometimes that being chronically ill makes me feel even more vulnerable were there a catastrophe of any kind, so trying to be prepared for worst case scenarios can make me feel a wee bit better. Honestly, I don’t know how to hunt or do much of anything outdoorsy even if I were healthy enough to do it, but luckily my husband does have those skills 🙂
For at least a year or two now, I have been debating with my husband whether we should get a handgun for home protection. You see, I have an intense fear of home invasions. I often have nightmares about it. I think part of it may stem from being robbed at gunpoint when I was 17 years old. Or maybe some of it comes from living in several areas over my lifetime that were crime ridden in one way or another. A history of physical abuse and c-ptsd certainly doesn’t help either.
That is why I believe that I might feel a little more safe with a handgun in the house (most likely locked up in a safe). My husband worries about keeping a loaded gun in the house though because of my intense periods of depression. I have bipolar type 2, and while I have never had a psychotic episode, have never tried to commit suicide, and do not think I am generally a danger to myself, my husband has seen me go through some extreme emotional lows that worried him. He fears that if we had a loaded gun in the house there is always the possibility that in a moment of intense depression I might make a rash decision.
I am thinking that perhaps I should discuss the possibility with my therapist and psychiatrist. I know both of them have said they do not think I would ever actually commit suicide. Personally, I agree that I am very unlikely to commit suicide unless my husband died and I was somehow left all alone without any help in the world. I do not think I could kill myself unless the prospect of living genuinely became worse than death. I also would not want to cause anyone who cares about me pain, as I know first hand what it is like to lose someone close to suicide.