Forgot to post yesterday! So today I’ll sum up both yesterday and today!
My hand is still bruised and tender from my fall the other day, so can’t do any bike riding 😦 Doctor said not to ride for at least a week. Yesterday my husband and I did a short hike at a local lake to get some exercise, and today we went swimming at our community pool. I was pleasantly surprised to find that swimming didn’t hurt too bad, although the pain is intense if someone accidentally bumps into my hand (which my husband did twice! lol)
Found a doctor who approved me to start Low Dose Naltrexone, so excited to see if it helps my chronic pain as much as it has helped others. One of my doctors outright told me that the reason they don’t prescribe that drug is because the big pharma companies won’t invest in testing it because it won’t make them enough money. Stuff like that makes me so mad. If it helps us should be most important!
Picked up some women’s health magazines today to hopefully inspire me further on my fitness and diet goals. Do you have a favorite health/fitness magazine?
After a few days of cutting out sugary drinks, I really do notice a difference. I’m not craving sweets nearly as much or starving all the time. I’m still not a big fan of artificial sweeteners, but they have helped me cut down on the insulin-spiking regular sugars.
Today I went with my husband and his “little brother” (Big Brothers/Big Sisters) to an Elk Farm nearby. I was really worried about the over 2 hour round-trip drive, as driving aggravates my migraines and neck pain so much, but I prepared by taking Ibuprofen, muscle relaxers and using Lidocaine before we left. Luckily that seemed to ward off the worst case scenario.
At the farm we saw a bunch of Elk, walked a few short trails, did a small maze, played a little basketball (I may have cheated and used the kid-sized hoops), ate some Elk BBQ (tastes like hamburger, but supposed to be healthier for you), homemade applesauce, farm-made ice cream, and then headed home. Glad I got some exercise in and had some fun, something that can be lacking in my life when my pain levels are bad for extended periods of time.
Now I’m beat and think I will curl up with a heating pad for a while.
I can be a bit possessive, especially when in a close relationship. I’ve always been like that. Even as a kid I would get jealous sometimes if my friends had other friends or wanted to do stuff without me. I’m not sure why, but I am easily prone to feeling left out or threatened by outsiders. However, I know this dynamic isn’t exactly healthy and I am trying to learn to let go a bit and not be so demanding by monopolizing anyone, specifically my husband.
It may be my autism, since I have heard it is typical of autistics, but I don’t make close relationships easily. I usually only have one or two truly close relationships at a time, and I can definitely be guilty of being clingy or insecure about those relationships. For the past 16 years, my closest relationship has been my husband (as it should be), but my husband is a bit different from me in what he needs socially.
Socially I only need those one or two people, although it can be terrifying if those relationships are threatened, since it is so hard for me to connect with others and build closeness. My husband on the other hand seems to desire more social interaction and the chance of making more friendships than I do. He wants to feel a part of things more than I do, as I am more of a homebody.
So, I have been working at letting go some and not feeling resentful or frightened by him reaching out for other friendships. It is still hard sometimes and honestly there is still a big part of me that thinks he should need absolutely nothing else in life but being with me…but I know that isn’t realistic or healthy. Does anyone else out there struggle with issues like this?