I’m honestly trying to figure out what direction I want to go with this blog. For a while I thought I wanted to focus mainly on living with chronic pain/mental illness, but I find that dwelling on all that too much actually tends to make me feel worse, not better.
So, I am thinking about focusing more on my hobbies, which include collecting toys and other cute things, thrifting, selling toys and collectibles (which I do on Mercari and Ebay if you want to check it out), jigsaw puzzling, and coloring art.
I’m still trying to figure it all out, and that is partly why I’ve been inactive much of the time. It’s hard to be on a journey when you are still trying to figure out which way you are going. Have any of you went through directional changes with your blog? How did it go? Were you glad you changed?
Lately I’ve been really into puppets (thank you TikTok), so I bought this adorable Wizard puppet (please pardon the askew glasses) and am looking into taking local classes or workshops in puppetry. It is something I’m really excited about right now. I always loved puppets, but TikTok is really breathing new life into the old artform!
Do you like puppets? Have you picked up any new quarantine hobbies?
Yesterday I got my newest Paradise Galleries reborn doll in the mail. These dolls are higher end baby dolls with limited number produced, but they are still mass produced, so they aren’t one-of-a-kind reborns. I chose this doll because I loved her face and the slightly sad expression she has (plus she has brown hair and blue eyes like me):
I named her Katerina (Kat for short). I bought this new Halloween outfit for her at Target recently and was waiting for her to arrive to try it on:
I know some people might think collecting dolls like this is a weird hobby for an adult, but I don’t care. It brings me happiness and it gives me an excuse to shop for all the cute little stuff in the baby section of the store, without all the hassle of actually taking care of a real baby lol. All the cuteness, none of the work!
I’ve been feeling rather sad and isolated the last few days. I think a lot of it comes from the stress of dealing with chronic illness and chronic pain. Anyone who has chronic illness is probably familiar with spoon theory, an illustrative way to describe why you have to choose carefully how to use your energy to do things when you have very limited physical ability.
In other words, sometimes you have to choose whether you would like to go out and socialize for a short period of time, spend that energy getting some much-needed housework done, work on a hobby or personal interest, or even simply take a shower…because you just don’t have the energy and the physical ability to do them all within the same day like a healthy person could.
Most of the time I end up choosing to spend my “energy” and limited abilities to either spend time with my husband, work on my art/writing/blogging, or take care of personal hygiene or light housework. Prioritizing these things leaves no extra energy or time to socialize on a wider scale or do much outside of the house, other than maybe occasionally going out for dinner or doing a little necessary shopping. Even the thought of going to a movie is often too exhausting to contemplate.
All of this makes me sad, especially when I remember how I used to enjoy so many other things I can’t do any longer. I used to love hiking, playing tennis, roller skating, bowling, dancing, working, swimming, being a foster parent, and going out to various activities with people I know or share interests with. I’ve pretty much lost all of that for good. And that is depressing.
I collect too many things. I collect tons of toys/action figures/dolls/squishies/stuffed animals/minifigures (Barbie, My Little Pony, Sesame Street, Looney Tunes, Lego, Nickelodeon, Disney, Schleich, Funko Pops, Reborns, Cabbage Patch Dolls, Coraline, etc.) I have an entire room for all my toys and collectibles. I collect books, especially children’s books and books about subjects I am obsessed with, ranging from Michael Jackson, Nirvana, and Dance Moms, to art/artists, writing/writers, poetry, comics/manga, and antique books. The books also have a room of their own, which they share with my husband’s smaller but still sizable book collection (mostly history, true crime, and science fiction grace his shelves).
I have a huge collection of art supplies and stickers (which also get shoved into my extra “toy room”). I have a large collection of cds, especially from my favorite artists (MJ again, Nirvana, Foo Fighters, Enya, Simon & Garfunkel, The Beatles, 60’s 70’s & 90’s hits, Disney soundtracks, etc.)
I have an entire dresser drawer full of bookmarks, a wide selection of cute or nerdy notebooks/journals/stationery and a cabinet full of magickal/pagan themed objects I use for my little ritual altar. I also have a large collection of sentimental items I have saved ranging from photos to cards to letters to objects from loved ones who have passed on.
I am emotionally connected to many of the things I collect and the idea of parting with them is traumatic. I figure this need to collect things is part of the autistic side of me, but sometimes I become overwhelmed by the size of my own collections!
This month I decided to try a different pagan-themed subscription box through Cratejoy. This is the Magickal Folk Meditation Kit subscription box that is only $7 + S&H. One thing I love about the Magickal Folk series is that they have a wide selection of boxes to choose from at different prices, so if you simply want Ritual Teas, Crystals, Meditation Rituals, or bigger combo boxes, you can get exactly what you want without paying for more.
The kit I chose is a small kit that comes with a specific meditation and ritual to perform each month, with a few little magickal tools to perform the ritual. This month’s theme was Brigid’s Blessing and came with a winter-themed meditation card, two beautiful tumbled milk quartz stones in a pretty little maroon pouch, a white satin spell ribbon that says “As it is” and “So it will be” at opposite ends, and a large packet of Goddess Blessing Salts made with dandelion root powder & cut leaf, blessed thistle herb, and sea salt.
The ritual suggests you take the ribbon out to a natural place and tie it to a tree, but right now I can’t bring myself to part from it, so I am using it as a decoration on my altar:
One thing I especially love about the meditation card is that it comes with a few journaling prompts for further reflection. So far I love this subscription box and will stay subscribed. It is a good price for a small monthly reminder to take the time to meditate and celebrate my connection to the earth and nature.
(You can find these and more for sale on my Ebay store!)
I made some crap art last night lol, so I decided to just tear it up and make a few little weird collages out of it. I haven’t been in the mood to collage for well over a year, but I guess I was getting bored with drawing, painting, and adult coloring books, so was looking for a different way to express myself. These collages look very child-like, which is a style of art I actually tend to love:
These artworks (and many others) are currently for sale on my Ebay store, so check it out!