(The following slightly risque poem was inspired by a passage from Ulysses by James Joyce, which turned out to be a lot dirtier (and nonsensical) than I thought it would be lol.)
Stop. Knocking.
Silly man!
Want women by the score?
Quit throwing flowers
at their feet
and singing sappy
songs outside
in your feathered cap.
Gifts? Words? Music?
No.
Tip her.
Tap her.
Top her.
I already told this story
but if you insist,
here it is again
condensed
into one word –
bestiality.
Astaroth:
guidance counselor
to the fallen –
because, hey,
even demons
get discouraged.
(Note: Lately I have been reading a book about fallen angels and their mythology. I had to write something about it when I came across the information that the demon Astaroth supposedly fulfilled the role of “guidance counselor” to the other demons in hell lol.)
Today my husband and I finally have the time to go see the Joker movie. I am really excited. I hear it is quite dark and nihilistic, similar in some ways to the Heath Ledger version of the Joker from The Dark Knight movie. I know it probably doesn’t help my depression, but I love dark, bleak movies like that.
Maybe I relate to them because of my depression. I have too much empathy for people to become a mass murderer or abuser, but I must admit that there are many times that I feel like life is pointless, everything we do is pointless, happiness is pointless, pain is pointless, etc. I feel like that most often when in a severe depressed state. I think that is why I look up to artists like Kurt Cobain, Vincent Van Gogh, Edvard Munch, Sylvia Plath, etc., because they expressed similar feelings at times.
This week I also have been catching up on the tv show American Horror Story and watched the 8th Season called Apocalypse. I loved this season! They brought back the witches from the Coven season which was one of my favorites, and I always love an apocalypse-themed story, but my favorite part of the season was Michael Langdon. Partly because I found him kind of hot, and partly because I found him often hilarious as the Antichrist. The poor guy showed us how uniquely stressful and confusing it could be to try to figure out how to bring about the end of days! Why doesn’t this “son of satan” stuff come with a guidebook???
Ok, I’m sharing this video because I found it pretty hilarious…and a bit scary too (after all, this is coming from real psychology/psychiatry professionals!). I occasionally watch this guy’s Youtube channel and came across this gem. In the video he talks about “rogue” therapists and counselors who break or bend the rules of the profession. The hilarious part comes in when he talks about actual made-up diagnoses he has seen written down on real charts by actual mental health professionals and the ridiculous misunderstandings some mental health professionals have about what certain diagnoses even are!
The video is a little long and he can be monotone, but I hope you make it through. If you want to skip to the point where he starts talking about made up diagnoses, it starts around the 5:59 mark.
I am SO glad I never had a counselor or therapist like the ones he describes!
I have a lot of amazing talents (thank you, autism)…now, if only more of those remarkable abilities were marketable! Here is a list of things I am awesome at that I wish I could get paid to do:
Well, things are still a bit rough. My back is still not doing great although it has been a slight bit better. I have been able to cut back a little bit on the pain killers, which I am thankful for. I hate having to take opioids too often. Unfortunately, I did trip over my TENS unit cord and that didn’t do my back or my knees and legs a lot of good:
I was thankful the fall didn’t make my back way worse though as that easily could have happened.
Yesterday I even felt up to going down to a nearby thrift store and just walking around a little bit to see if I could loosen my back up any. I even found a new Eeyore to add to my collection while there (the pink and light blue one on the far right):
Eeyore is my spirit animal….unfortunately.
