Check out the cute stuff my mom sent to me for an Easter care package! She did really good this year! It definitely helped cheer me up since I had been feeling pretty lousy lately between my depression and my chronic health issues.
I had a rough night. I woke up numerous times drenched in a cold sweat, shivering, and nauseated. I was starting to worry I was coming down with something, but today I am feeling better, so not sure what was going on. I guess we’ll see how the day goes.
I did get some stuff in the mail today that cheered me up. I got my new handheld phone tripod, my first mortar and pestle, some new oil pastels, and my first Num Nums subscription box (a snack box for those with food allergies). I plan to share all this on a YouTube video soon. Let me know if you guys might want to see that video when it is up and I can link it here.
I’ve also been listening to some MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) guy on YouTube named Tom Leykis who has his own radio show. It amazes me how twisted some of these guys get after being in bad relationships with women. Part of me wants to feel a little sorry for them for being mistreated in the past, but it is hard to feel too much empathy when they themselves have morphed into narcissistic, shallow assholes.
The whole MGTOW and incel phenomena are truly disturbing on multiple levels. The sheer rage, the desire for revenge, the need to put women down and dehumanize them, the harsh stereotypes they live by, etc. What is happening to our society?
Over the weekend my husband and I visited Indianapolis to see the Star Trek exhibit at the Indianapolis Children’s Museum. My husband was in heaven lol. I was there. I did find a few fun things to concentrate on though.
I annoyed my husband by sitting in the captain’s chair like this:
My personal favorite in the exhibit was this painting of Data’s cat from The Next Generation, I would hang this in my house:
My husband got assimilated and beamed up (along with a little friend):
I did get to ride the museum’s carousel (one of my favorite things to do at any museum, zoo, or park). Unfortunately, I threw my hip out climbing onto it. I think from now on I may need to sit on the little benches on the carousel like all the other old, broken down bodies:
I also got a photo op at Candyland:
Now I am back home, exhausted, sore, and will probably need a few days to recuperate.
It’s been a rough week physically. I had a CFS/ME flare-up, which feels a lot like mono if you’ve ever had that, or the worse flu you can imagine. During these flare-ups, I run a fever, my body aches horribly, I feel too exhausted to move, too exhausted to breathe, and if I sit up or stand up long, I feel faint. Trying to do the simplest tasks is overwhelming and can make me feel like passing out, even just putting up my dishes or trying to take care of my personal hygiene.
Yesterday I was finally feeling well enough to get out and since the weather was warm, my husband and I went for a picnic at a local park. We got subs and then after eating, walked the short distance to the lake edge. As you can see, it was pretty darn muddy:
I’m glad we went, because I needed the mental distraction, but now I am really sore and exhausted from even that short bit of activity. Trudging through the mud really wore me out because the mud sticking to my shoes made my feet feel like they gained 10 pounds, and I almost slipped and fell a couple times. It probably wasn’t the brightest idea to go, but mentally I needed to feel alive again, even if just for a little while.
Feeling like shit today. Woke up after sleeping 10-11 hours, ate breakfast, and then went to take a nap for another couple of hours. So, why am I so exhausted and feeling like I got run over by a steamroller?
Well, yesterday my husband was driving home from work when a tire fell off his car. I had to go pick him up and once I got there, we had to wait for the tow truck to come get the broken down car. It was supposed to be about an hour before the tow truck arrived, instead it was almost three hours. Three hours of sitting in the cold (we did turn on the heat in my car occasionally, but didn’t want to run it the entire time we were waiting). Three hours of sitting in a position that is not good for my back, neck, and joints. Three hours of my joints stiffening due to the cold and being cramped in the car.
I knew today I would feel rough after all that and expected my CFS/ME and Ehlers Danlos to flare up. As usual, I was correct, but I wish I wasn’t. Those who don’t have chronic illness and chronic pain have no idea how easy it is for normal, annoying life events to set us back for days. I think it is something you have to experience to truly understand.
I didn’t post the last couple days because I’ve been sick. At first I thought I was having an adverse reaction to hemp seed oil, which I decided to try for the first time Friday. I was hoping it would help my chronic pain issues, but within a few hours of taking it, I developed a horrible headache (almost migraine level) and then became really nauseated and felt like throwing up all night.
However, yesterday I made sure not to take the oil again and I still had a rough day with nausea and other stomach issues, so I’m not sure if an adverse reaction could last that long or if maybe I just had a stomach bug or something. I hope it wasn’t the hemp seed oil, because if that makes me sick, I would worry that medical marijuana might do the same, which I am still hoping to try if I can get my Ohio prescription card.
The really sucky thing about Ohio’s medical marijuana program is that they only approve certain doctors to prescribe it and it sounds like you have to go through certain organizations to get approved….organizations that do NOT take any kind of insurance and charge a couple hundred bucks just for your first visit. Almost seems like a scam in some ways. I’m doubting you can use insurance on the prescriptions themselves with a system like that, but I’m not sure. So honestly, I don’t know if I can afford medical marijuana 😦
As for my possible adverse reaction, I think it worries me even more because my mom always told me that she could never smoke weed because it gave her migraines and made her physically ill. I was hoping I didn’t inherit whatever it is that caused that reaction in her, but now I’m worried maybe I did. It would suck to spend all that money on a medical marijuana card and then find out it made me feel worse.
I think I caught my husband’s cold 😦 My throat feels like it is on fire, I’m running a low grade fever, and now I’ve started coughing too. So, I think I’m going to take it easy today and just lay around the house and do nothing. Maybe watch another animated movie on Netflix (this week I already watched “The Secret Life of Pets” and “Moana” for the first time, “Moana” is definitely a new favorite of mine now). I’m thinking maybe “The Emoji Movie” next.
My husband is running over to McDonald’s to get me a happy meal since they have new My Little Pony toys, and then he is going to pick me up some Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, Milk Duds, and some Halloween Oreos…so I’ll be set to sulk in my bedroom for a few days if needed. Sorry if this isn’t the most exciting post in the world lol, but this is my life…
- Double ear and sinus infections wreaking havoc 😦
- New antibiotics tearing up my stomach
- Had to miss out on Thanksgiving with the family (too sick to travel)
- Still thankful for all the blessings in my life, glad to have food in my belly (even if it is going right through me right now), glad to have a roof over my head, and a nice, soft bed to lay in when not feeling well
- Glad to have a loving husband and kitties to keep me company, even when ill
- Still thankful to be living in America (albeit, less thankful as the years go by and the corporatocracy takes over more and more)
- Always thankful for the gift of artistic expression and the comradeship of other writers and artists