How Crazy Am I?

Art by Maranda Russell

*I wrote this fun little poem while sitting at Burger King, eating my hamburger and onion rings. It just kind of “came” to me lol. It is meant to be cynically humorous, hopefully it is.

How Crazy Am I?

I don’t know
a 10?
Nah…
I ain’t THAT fucking
insane.

A 9?
Well, I’m not
quite drooling
on myself yet…
at least not
on a regular basis.

An 8?
That sounds about
right, but
over the years
I’ve learned
if something sounds right
it almost never is.

7?
Lucky seven?
I sure ain’t
been lucky
in this life,
or any other.

6?
Sure, let’s just
settle on six.
Because really,
who gives a shit
anyhow?
And I’m tired
of counting.

– Art and Poetry by Maranda Russell

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Timid Tears and Fearless Frowns

"Lust and Envy" by Maranda Russell

Have you ever had
a timid tear
lace its way down
your cheek
and then hide
‘neath your ear?

Or tried to
smile – only
to find
a fearless frown
that refuses
to mind?

~ Art and Poetry by Maranda Russell

At the Crossroads

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You string me along
like floss
then toss me away
like a song.
You want me
only when it’s
convenient –
when your pastel
world loses
color and you
need me to
brighten the walls.

But now I see
your game –
I’m wise to your
disguise.
Not afraid to
walk away, I
leave you at
the crossroads
facing your own
demise.

~ Art & Poetry by Maranda Russell

Suicidal Ideations

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*Note: I wrote this a while back and am not currently feeling suicidal, but I thought it might be interesting to share this poem as it does illustrate a real mental struggle I have dealt with on and off for many years.

Suicidal Ideations

If I only had a dollar
for every time
I have looked down
from a great height,
shook a full bottle of pills,
held my breath under water,
or inhaled exhaust fumes
while thinking

I could actually do it,
I could end it all –

I would have more
than enough
to pay for all the
therapy sessions
I obviously need.

Two Haiku for You

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I have found myself
at a loss for words, but here
they come anyhow…

All the lighthouses!
All the lighthouses!
Yet there’s no light to be found.
Pointless monuments!

(Yes, I know the second one is irregular form, but I felt it sounded better with the first line repeated, so I broke the rules!)

Life is Pain

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Life is pain.

And I don’t mean that
in some philosophical
bullshit way…(or maybe I do?)

Life is pain, whether it
be physical, mental,
emotional, or existential.

The gentle yearning ache
of a heart perpetually unfulfilled…

The bittersweet bile of nostalgia
creeping up one’s throat…

The sharp bite of our
unreliably aging bones…

The mind-numbing weight
of each day survived intact…

The desperate call of a soul
that may or may not actually exist…

~ Maranda Russell