Hello everyone! I’ve actually had a few good days mentally, which has definitely been a welcome reprieve! Today I wanted to talk to my blog readers about whether they think I do a good balance of art vs mental or chronic illness posts. I have a passion both for art and for advocating and spreading awareness of mental and chronic physical illnesses. Sometimes I worry that maybe I am sharing too many posts about one subject or the other and may drive off readers who are interested more in the other topic.
So…it seems the best thing to do is to ask you guys. Do you think I strike a good balance? Do you have a preference for subject matter or do you just like to read whatever I share? I have thought about separating into two blogs, one focusing more on art and the other more on mental and physical illnesses, but I honestly don’t want to have to juggle two blogs. Sometimes I struggle just to keep up with one (mostly because of the chronic illnesses I suffer from).
Does the popcorn
make the movie
and the beer
make the bar?
that which has been
does the sum of its parts
create something new
or do you simply
all parties involved?
~ Maranda Russell
Admission time…I LOVE a good conspiracy. JFK. Roswell. 9/11. The Illuminati. Skull and Bones. I love it all. Sometimes I think conspiracy theorists can go too far (Sandy Hook being a hoax comes to mind), but overall, I’m willing to view evidence either way and see why people come up with the conspiracy theories they cling to. Sometimes the evidence makes me highly suspect foul play, even if I can’t prove it. And that’s the thing, I will tell others I suspect a potential false flag, but I won’t make a proclamation that I know the truth for sure. Of course I could be wrong. There are some things I do not believe were false flags that I could be wrong about too of course.
So with the Las Vegas shooting, I have been taking in media from a mainstream perspective as well as watching some videos and supposed “evidence” that the shooting may have actually been a state sponsored false flag (false flag does NOT mean it didn’t happen, just that the government planned it). I have not been convinced either way. The footage of gunfire possibly coming from the 4th floor is rather fascinating, but not conclusive proof. Of course motive is a question whether you believe the media narrative or the false flag narrative. False flags normally are done to demonize a group of people, give an excuse to start a war, or distract from something else the government doesn’t want you to notice is going on. With Trump in office, God only knows what they might try to distract us from!
Regardless of whether things like this are crazy people gone rogue or some kind of sinister plot cooked up in Washington, I do support banning high capacity assault weapons. In my opinion, normal people just don’t need access to those weapons. Of course, that doesn’t mean I trust the government either, but heavily armed governments vs heavily armed rebels just ends up with dead people everywhere. I like to believe there is another way to make change, which definitely needs to be made. I’ve studied how the US government supports terrorism around the world and it convinces me they are undoubtedly capable of inflicting such things on their own people should it suit them.
So yes, I do enjoy a good conspiracy and might post about them, but that doesn’t mean I am putting aside all skepticism. I’m just skeptical about both sides.
Can You Keep a Secret?
Written by: Maranda Russell
Can you keep a secret?
Will you hold it close,
so close that it vibrates
against your own heartbeat?
Will you bite your tongue,
your teeth slicing through
your taste buds,
leaving rows of bloody beads?
Will you lock pinkies
like we are kids once again,
with the monstrous shadows
chasing us back to adulthood?
Can you keep a secret?
I know you can, and I know you will
because the secrets you keep
loom even larger than mine.
So the idea and questions for this post come from the Usborne “My First Story Writing Book” which is an awesome resource for helping kids learn creative writing skills! I thought it would be fun to answer some of the questions they ask myself and share!
I live with…
My husband, Steve
My 3 cats (Spyder, Mao Mao, and Icky)
The most unusual thing about me is…
I’m a physical and mental trainwreck (who knows what is actually wrong with me???)
My worst fear is…
My husband dying.
Having to support myself entirely.
Spiders getting into my ears.
Getting sicker or being in even more pain.
I feel happy when…
People appreciate and compliment me.
When I am being creative!
My biggest ambition is…
Make more money as a freelance writer/book reviewer (maybe review books for bigger companies).
Work with kids again. Maybe hold more children’s writing workshops in the future.
Grow my blog/vlogs.
Advocate for those with chronic illness and mental illness.
Sell more art on ebay!
My first memory is…
Riding in a stroller and being frustrated that I couldn’t get out!
Just something to think about…
Have you ever really stopped to think why you believe what you believe? If you have any religious or spiritual beliefs, what prompted you to form them? If you are a Christian for example, why did you choose to be a Christian? Was it because that is what you were taught growing up? Is it because most of your friends/family share that belief system and you want to fit in? Is it because you want blessings in return or fear going to hell? Or it is because you truly love and want to live those beliefs?
Now, once you have an idea in mind of why you chose your beliefs, think about who those beliefs serve. Which of the reasons are self-serving and which are others-centered? If you chose your beliefs because that is what you were always taught or because all your friends and family share the beliefs, who benefits from that? Have you just taken the path of least resistance? Are you afraid to question those beliefs for fear of being ostracized, bullied or left out? If so, is that a good reason to believe something?
If you chose your beliefs because you fear the punishment of hell or desire rewards here or in heaven, who benefits from that? Is it selfish to choose a belief system based on what it can give you or to avoid the fears of hellish punishment that have been instilled in you? Is it materialistic to live a good life only because you want a nice mansion or big crown in heaven when you die? How many people keep some kind of tally in their head of good vs bad deeds, trying to do just enough good stuff to require whatever fulfillment they believe will get them into heaven? How selfish is the “gospel of prosperity” as some people have called it? Do you believe that if you do ‘right’ you deserve good things and that those who don’t have good things have obviously failed to live right (as I have heard some Christians say)?
Now, what about if you chose your beliefs because you truly loved them and wanted to live them? Do those beliefs make you want to serve others? If you are a Christian, do you truly like the things Jesus did and do you try to emulate those actions regardless of how unpopular they may be? Do you want to defend and help heal the weak and the hurting? Do you put the welfare of people before tradition? Do you want to actively participate in God’s spiritual kingdom here on earth and make things better for others while you are here, or are you just surviving until you can leave the earth? Do you find meaning in reaching out to others rather than in being entertained or catered to? Is your comfort more important to you than the basic needs of others?
Of course, no one can answer these questions for us. It is something that requires deep thought and honesty. It makes us see the parts of ourselves we may not like or may make us question what we have always thought. I ask myself these kinds of questions often and sometimes they are hard to face and reveal, but I have a deep desire to be authentically about helping others. So many of us take our selfishness into our religion…and that shows. People know and it turns them off. I hope that maybe we can all someday see that true love and spirituality can never be just about “us”, “our kind” or “our wants and needs”.