Maranda Russell

Tag: scared

  • A Night Full of Nightmares

    Last night I had a bunch of nightmares. In fact, I woke up feeling like that was all I did all night – face some of my darkest fears. These nightmares didn’t feature vampires, ghosts, ax murderers, clowns, or spiders…they featured the person I love the most in the world, my husband. In these dreams […]

  • My Mother Helped a Guy to Stalk Me

    Lately I’ve been dealing with a lot of resentment and anger towards my mother. To explain why, let me share a specific incident that kind of illustrates why I am upset. When I was 14/15, my mother worked with a guy named Danny who met me and developed a huge crush on me. He was […]

  • Wisdom Teeth Surgery Anxiety

    Not long ago I had an infected wisdom tooth, so unfortunately, the surgery I have been putting off to get my wisdom teeth out is now more of a necessity. I am scared shitless, and I’m not even sure why. I keep telling myself it is a minor surgery. Outpatient even. I’ll go, get them […]

  • Nighttime Dread and “Quiet Borderlines” Thoughts

    Nighttime Dread and “Quiet Borderlines” Thoughts

    I slept in until after 2pm this afternoon. I hate when that happens. I feel like most of the day is already gone by the time I get out of bed. I must have slept at least around 12 hours last night, even though I had a bit of an emotional fest when I actually […]

  • Being Too Clingy and Possessive

    Being Too Clingy and Possessive

    I can be a bit possessive, especially when in a close relationship. I’ve always been like that. Even as a kid I would get jealous sometimes if my friends had other friends or wanted to do stuff without me. I’m not sure why, but I am easily prone to feeling left out or threatened by […]

  • Relationship PTSD

    Relationship PTSD

    Everywhere I go I fear I’ll find you. I skulk around the edge of each aisle, scanning faces to make sure it is safe. I play out our fearfully planned reunion again and again in my mind. When the inevitable collision happens, I consider speaking Spanish or pretending I don’t know you. In every scenario […]

  • Author Anxiety

    You would think after you have your first book published and spend lots of time out in the public marketing it, that you wouldn’t be so nervous about future releases. Unfortunately, that just isn’t the case. At least, not for me. Of course, I think part of the reason I am anxious right now is […]

  • I’m getting my first picture book published!

    Yesterday I received the news, a publisher officially wants to publish my picture book manuscript.  It’s only a small press, and my book will only start out with a small run, but depending on how hard I am willing to work to promote it, the sky is the limit.  I am so excited and can’t […]