I’ve come down with another nasty case of bronchitis, so I’m taking it easy, hoping the antibiotics kick in soon, and putting together bits of loosely created blackout poetry (using some magazines and comics I’ve read lately). Here are a few of these creative little bits:
Not a single one
became a hugely successful
save the seals, coins,
and animal bones.
of a terrible illegality
a large new stairway
to the mounds of holy dirt.
To the ramparts!
To let me nap in peace.
than the sword –
into thine eye.
These bits of poetry are short, random, and sometimes a bit nonsensical, but I enjoy playing with language, and even the most ambiguous ones have a sort of language musicality to me.
and clenched fists
accompany defiant eyes.
I have high expectations
but I avoid them all.
Sick in the stomach,
sick in the head,
sick of this life.
I would cry,
but I never
penciled it in today.
I think I caught my husband’s cold 😦 My throat feels like it is on fire, I’m running a low grade fever, and now I’ve started coughing too. So, I think I’m going to take it easy today and just lay around the house and do nothing. Maybe watch another animated movie on Netflix (this week I already watched “The Secret Life of Pets” and “Moana” for the first time, “Moana” is definitely a new favorite of mine now). I’m thinking maybe “The Emoji Movie” next.
My husband is running over to McDonald’s to get me a happy meal since they have new My Little Pony toys, and then he is going to pick me up some Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, Milk Duds, and some Halloween Oreos…so I’ll be set to sulk in my bedroom for a few days if needed. Sorry if this isn’t the most exciting post in the world lol, but this is my life…
Hello everyone! I don’t want to bore you all with the continuing mini-drama of my wisdom tooth surgery aftermath, but I know many of you genuinely want to know how I’m doing, so I decided to do another update, this time I’ll just bullet-list what has been going on the past few days:
Wednesday I went to the dentist in the morning, where he did indeed diagnose me with dry socket. He cleaned out the area and then put a clove oil soaked material in there. It didn’t hurt much when he did that, but the incredibly strong taste of the cloves made me horribly nauseated the rest of the day and made everything taste disgusting. It was so strong, my husband could smell the cloves across the room when I had my mouth shut!
The clove stuff did eliminate most of the pain for a couple days, but this morning (Friday), that awful deep, throbbing ache has returned off and on. I do have more clove oil I bought, but the scent alone of it makes me so sick, I honestly don’t want to use it. Right now I am trying to get by taking the maximum amount of Ibuprofen and Tylenol, while occasionally using Ambesol to numb the area.
I do still have opioids left, and it is extremely tempting to use them, but I took them so much the first few days after the surgery that my bowels have become clogged pipes 😦 I hope that isn’t TMI, but it is a common side effect of opioids, and when you already have IBS like I do, I think you are even more prone to stuff like that. I have been taking stool softeners like crazy, eating mushy prunes, and even broke out a little Exlax, but nothing yet.
By the way, I forgot to mention that after I got home from the dentist on Wednesday, the blood clot on my other lower socket became dislodged and lost, so now I technically have TWO dry sockets. That was SO frustrating! If it was going to come out that day, why couldn’t it do so BEFORE I visited the dentist? Luckily, that side does seem to be a bit further along in healing, so it isn’t as painful overall as the other side, but it is still annoying.
I have also been running a fever off and on, which seems a bit concerning considering the amount of Ibuprofen and Tylenol I am taking. You would think that would knock out any fever. I can tell right away when I am running a fever because I will get these intense sweats, and become even more nauseated and dizzy than I am already. Most of the last few days I have had to spend flat on my back most of the time due to that dizziness and nausea.
Well, that pretty much covers the last few days. I hope this is over soon. I appreciate all the concern and comments you guys have been leaving. It means a lot to me when I am feeling so poorly, even if I don’t feel well enough to write long comments back.
I was pretty lucky the first couple days after my wisdom teeth surgery, so I was hoping for smooth sailing all the way…but I am running into some issues now. For one thing, the combination of antibiotics, pain killers, and NSAIDS started causing a good amount of nausea the last couple days. I often feel like throwing up, although I have been able to refrain from actually vomiting so far. I have suffered from emetophobia (fear of throwing up) almost my entire life, so I fight tooth and nail against it, but sometimes it can’t be stopped.
I am also starting to highly suspect that the tooth they took out on the left side of my jaw might be developing dry socket. There isn’t a blood clot in sight on that side and all you can really see is a big empty space with what looks like a little bit of bone sticking through at the bottom. I am trying to follow all the directions for recovery, including using a special mouthwash and doing warm salt water rinses, but the salt water is definitely making the nausea worse.
So, to sum it all up….I’m feeling pretty miserable today. My jaw is still sore, my ears are now aching as well, and it almost feels like it is getting harder to eat rather than easier. I’m trying to not let it get me down, but I am a little bummed that complications seem to be arising. I know if I wait it out, even the dry socket should resolve itself within 7-10 days, but that sounds like a long time right now.
(The Pixabay image above doesn’t have anything to do with the subject of the blog post, but I thought it was cool-looking!)
Things have been busy lately. A few good things have happened and a few not-so-good things have happened. Here is a short summary:
My husband was sick over the weekend with a fever, chills, and body aches and yesterday I started running a fever. Still not feeling well today, but I have a doctor’s visit already scheduled for this evening, so I guess that is good timing.
I finally heard from my mom the other day after a month of hearing nothing. I guess she wasn’t upset or mad or anything after all, she just had neglected to call me back like she had said she would. At least she did apologize. I think she genuinely meant it too.
I have become kind of obsessed with reborn dolls! I ordered my third doll from Paradise Galleries the other day and am excited to receive her! I’m not sure if this is just my latent maternal instincts coming out to play since I never had a child of my own or what, but it is a comforting and fun hobby. Having an excuse to shop for adorable baby stuff is awesome lol.
The weather is finally stabilizing somewhat and becoming nice most days! So happy about that! I don’t like the cold!
After a few weeks of being uninspired entirely with my art, I have gotten a bit of interest back in it lately and am enjoying making fun little collages.
Even though my last therapy session made me feel pretty crappy the day I had it, a couple things the therapist said have stuck with me and might help in the long run. One thing I keep thinking about is how the therapist said it was “interesting and not weird” how I have such an interest in toys and other “child-like” things. I have always felt kind of ashamed for liking “kids stuff” as an adult, whether it be toys, books, movies, or whatnot, but maybe I have been judging myself too harshly for just having unusual interests. I can be extremely obsessive about those interests, but when you have Asperger’s, that kind of comes with the territory.
Anxiety and depression have been high (as always) but I’m still here! I’m still fighting for the kind of life I want, even if I do make missteps here and there.
Today I was supposed to have therapy at 11am, but my therapist got confused and thought we had scheduled for 1pm, so I ended up waiting for a few minutes at the therapy office and then just going home. Usually something like that happening would really upset me, but today I actually took it pretty well. Maybe because I wasn’t feeling good physically anyhow, so the desire to go home and go back to bed was strong. I did get back to sleep, but my therapist calling me at 1pm to ask where I was woke me up again 😦 I’m glad she called though, because I was wondering what the heck happened when she didn’t show up this morning.
I’m still feeling bad, I have a stubborn headache that won’t go away and my IBS has been acting up since last night. I’m wondering why all my neighbors have to wait to mow their lawns and get out their weed-wackers until I have a severely pounding head? It is almost like they plan it…
I’m bummed about the way I’m feeling because I really wanted to go over to the Build a Bear store today, but not sure I’ll make it. I only ate a little bit of tuna and a few crackers for lunch, but I’m not sure if that was a good idea or not… I’m hoping tomorrow I’ll have better things to report.
This image from Pixabay pretty much illustrates exactly how I feel today. Just slump me over and leave me to die. I’m not sure which is worse today, my depression or my exhaustion…but I suppose they are best buds anyhow and pretty damn hard to separate.
I woke up today feeling like I just needed to get out, so went to do a bit of shopping, nothing too exciting as you can see here, but hey, sometimes even routine errands can help get our minds off heavy stuff.
First I stopped at Walmart. As you can see, I am still feeding my Coca Cola addiction. The cough drops are for the hubby who woke up feeling crappy today, and the Carmex is because I’m having some lip pimple or cold sore issues that are driving me crazy. I rarely EVER buy makeup. Lip balm and this kind of Covergirl foundation powder are about all I ever do. Honestly, it isn’t even necessarily an aversion to makeup, but just that #1, I never really learned to do my own makeup, and #2, makeup is expensive and I would rather buy more fun things normally!
I also went to Goodwill, where I found a sweatshirt that was super comfy and almost brand new. Ironically enough, the sweatshirt I bought at Goodwill was almost the exact same price as this brand new t-shirt I bought at Walmart. It seems a little ridiculous to me that Goodwill prices are now about as high as Walmart prices! I know sweatshirts cost more than t-shirts anyhow, but still…
I think the best part of getting out of the house though is just cruising in the car, with the windows down, and cranking up the volume on some of my favorite albums. That might be one of the most therapeutic treatments for depression.