Hi everyone! First off, I want to say that I changed the theme (appearance) of my blog slightly. I don’t know if you all will notice or not, especially if you read most of my posts on WordPress’s reader function, but for those who actually visit my blog address, I hope you like the changes. I thought it was a bit more visually appealing, especially for sharing art and poetry, which I like to do.
Yesterday was the first day since my wisdom tooth surgery I was able to get out and have some fun. We didn’t do anything major, just went out to eat (still having to eat soft foods, so we opted for pasta), and did some Halloween shopping at Goodwill, where I decided to try on a couple “spooky” accessories:
It was fun just playing around and being goofy after being sick at home for so long. The surgery pain is much better, although I’m pretty sure that this whole ordeal has brought on a flare-up of TMJ (a jaw joint disorder), which I have had issues with in the past. It still hurts to open my mouth very wide, talk much, chew anything, or smile big.
I took three months off YouTube to focus on my written blog here and just because I was feeling a bit burned out making videos. Now I’m going to focus on my toy and children’s book channel (Maranda’s Toys & Books) as far as video-making goes, so if you guys are into that kind of stuff and want to subscribe to my channel there, please do so!
Here is my “comeback” video:
The dollies and my bunny say hello! The baby doll in the panda suit is a new addition to my collection, but sadly, he has some issues (floppy, loose head) and I may have to return him and get another one. The outfit that the bunny is wearing I got at a thrift store for less than a buck! Good deals! I also got some more vintage puzzles that I’m sure I will be sharing images of soon!
Ok, now with the cuteness aside, I’ve had a rough few days. A lot of mood swings, anxiety, and depression. I’ve also been feeling insecure and sometimes like I don’t even know who I really am. I wonder if that is why I try so hard to figure out what conditions I actually have and what is wrong with me…because I need an outside force (be it a doctor or diagnosis) to TELL me who I am. I know this kind of feeling is normal when you are a teenager and just figuring out who you are, but I’m 35 freakin’ years old! Shouldn’t I know by now?
I even find myself questioning my blogging efforts. I wonder if anyone really likes the stuff I am into (particularly the toys and puzzles and stuff like that), or am I just boring everyone? But if I talked about nothing on the blog but my mental and physical problems, wouldn’t that get boring in itself? See, I am doing far too much overthinking and that always leads to picking out flaws and beating myself up. It wouldn’t matter WHAT I did on here, I would feel like it isn’t worthwhile sometimes and like I am a burden to others.
I know in my heart, that these feelings of inadequacy are not something that anyone else can clear away for me. It wouldn’t matter how much praise or reassurance I received from others as long as I am still doubting myself inside. I guess at least I recognize that. I appreciate all you guys sticking with me through all the ups and downs. Having a place to open up like this makes a huge difference.
Another post for you today! My husband took me out to do a bit of shopping therapy to try to help get me out of my depressed funk. The weather outside is absolutely abysmal (constant rain and gloom), but I still had fun!
We went to Toys R Us, which is already marking everything down for the store closing. I am terribly sad to see Toys R Us go, and hope that somehow they are able to make a comeback at some point. There are so few toy stores around anymore! Here is what I found today there:
The “Bee Happy” baby outfit was 20% off and is Newborn size, so it should fit my reborn doll. If not, I’m sure it will fit some of my stuffed animals. I just thought the bee motif was too cute to pass up. I also picked up the Despicable Me unicorn mealtime set that I have wanted for a while. I love the unicorn from the movie, and I actually use these types of plastic cartoon cups, bowls, and plates myself more than I use regular dishware.
After Toys R Us, we did a little thrifting. I got a fun Playpad activity book (these are fun to do while I’m watching YouTube vids), some new pencils, and a couple more newborn size outfits for my doll. The green outfit has a cute orange whale on it and I also found a cute pair of brand new monkey booties.
This weekend I did some thrift store shopping! I found a few cute outfits for my new reborn doll (whom I decided to name Amelia after a character in a YA book I read recently called “A Tragic Kind of Wonderful”). For about six bucks I got these three outfits for her:
I also found this cute preemie 3-piece giraffe and elephant set for only $5:
Lastly, we went to a new bargain used bookstore, which sells bundles of children’s books (around 10 books for $5). Part of the fun of buying the bundle is that you can’t really see what all you get until after you buy it, so it is somewhat of a surprise when you open the package and see what all books you got:
Of the books I got in this bundle, my favorites are the “Spooky Friends”, “Cinderella” (from the live action movie version), Elmo’s World, and the “Penguin Skating Party” ones. I also picked up the cute cloth alphabet blocks you see to the right of the books in the photo for only $.99 at the thrift store where I got the baby clothes.
I woke up today feeling like I just needed to get out, so went to do a bit of shopping, nothing too exciting as you can see here, but hey, sometimes even routine errands can help get our minds off heavy stuff.
First I stopped at Walmart. As you can see, I am still feeding my Coca Cola addiction. The cough drops are for the hubby who woke up feeling crappy today, and the Carmex is because I’m having some lip pimple or cold sore issues that are driving me crazy. I rarely EVER buy makeup. Lip balm and this kind of Covergirl foundation powder are about all I ever do. Honestly, it isn’t even necessarily an aversion to makeup, but just that #1, I never really learned to do my own makeup, and #2, makeup is expensive and I would rather buy more fun things normally!
I also went to Goodwill, where I found a sweatshirt that was super comfy and almost brand new. Ironically enough, the sweatshirt I bought at Goodwill was almost the exact same price as this brand new t-shirt I bought at Walmart. It seems a little ridiculous to me that Goodwill prices are now about as high as Walmart prices! I know sweatshirts cost more than t-shirts anyhow, but still…
I think the best part of getting out of the house though is just cruising in the car, with the windows down, and cranking up the volume on some of my favorite albums. That might be one of the most therapeutic treatments for depression.