It’s a dreary day here. The fog is so thick, I can’t see past our nearest neighbors’ houses. It kind of matches my mood inside. Feeling sluggish, depressed, and exhausted.
I’ve been having crazy dreams at night, which are leaving me feeling like I haven’t slept. Last night I dreamed that Trump died, but I was surrounded by Trumpers when I got the news and their grief and anger was so overwhelming, I had to pretend to be heartbroken too or I was afraid they would hurt me.
A couple nights ago, I had the EXACT same dream at least three times in a row, even waking up at the exact same moment. That dream was about some weird plot to invite everyone around to this huge mansion or castle-like building and then kill them all off one by one until only the mastermind behind the plot was left. Each time it got down to only the one guy left, I would wake up. It was strange because I wasn’t really in the dream either, it was more like I was watching it unfold from a viewing point, like watching a movie or something.
I’ve also been struggling a lot with insecurity in my relationship with my husband. He is doing everything he can to show me that he is sorry for hurting me in the past and is working on fixing his own emotional issues, but I still feel insecure and scared at times that he will somehow undo the progress he has made and go back to old habits.
You guys seem to enjoy my weird dream stories, so here is a new one for you. This dream was actually super long and convoluted, so I’m not going to tell the whole thing, but know that it involved a home invasion, sitting forever in a social service office to report said invasion (maybe they defunded the police?), my husband ultimately dying (very sad part), and my mom driving me crazy (like normal).
The best part of the dream though was while we were hanging out at the office, waiting to report the home invasion, my husband and I were given the task of sorting some paper bits by color (no idea why). My husband was a little sharp with me (smartass), asking if I was going to help, so I got pissed and refused to help.
In return my husband first started just collapsing and making me carry him around…but then he went on to shapeshifting! What did he shapeshift into? A wolf? No. A bat? No. Bigfoot? No.
He shapeshifted into a burger and fries. Then I was told that this must mean he was hungry, so I needed to feed his fries to himself (the way I was told to do this was to take three fries, line them up with one in the middle and the outside two fries would eat the inside fry).
Next, he shapeshifted into Obama (no clue why). And then from there he shifted back to his regular self and ended up hospitalized and ultimately died (very sad). Maybe I didn’t feed him enough fries…
I think I had the most messed up dream of my life last night!
In the dream, I was a little girl and my mom (who wasn’t the same mom I have in real life) had just gotten together with this creepy guy. The guy told me he had some weed, but if I told my mom, he would kill me. Of course, I had to then go tell my mom. When the guy got home and found out I had told on him, he decided to kill my mother in front of me instead of killing me.
How did he kill her? By stapling her to death. Yes, with a stapler. At one point, he used the stapler to beat a small hole in the side of her head, then decided to rape her in front of me, but instead of normal rape, he raped her by sticking his dick in the hole in the side of her head, which pushed her brains and other stuff in her head out the other side.
What the fuck is wrong with my brain?!! How did it come up with this shit???
Every once in a while I have a dream where I realize in the middle of it that I am dreaming and I have the ability to take the dream over and do whatever I want to do. Last night this happened again. I became aware that I was dreaming and that nothing I saw around me was real, but instead of deciding to fly off to some other land or into outer space, I decided to stick around the environment I was already in and see what my sleeping mind had conjured up out of nothing.
It was actually rather fascinating to study the “set” of my dream. I noticed all the little details – the plants (color/shape/flowers), I noticed how a few rocks were randomly scattered over the ground and even counted them, wondering if the number had any significance. I felt the textures around me, including puffy cotton balls growing off to the side, marveling at how real it felt to my touch, even though I knew none of it was real.
I wish I remembered every single detail that I studied, but like most dreams, once I woke up, bits of it started to fade like wisps of smoke. I do remember it was an outdoor setting obviously and there was a small bridge and a stream of water. I would almost say it was a little like a Monet water garden painting.
It always interested me that I’ve heard some experts claim we don’t dream in color, but if that is true, they obviously have never visited my dreams!!! I feel texture, pain, and pleasure in my dreams. I taste. I smell. I hear. When I am there, it is just as real as where I am right this minute.