Maranda Russell

Tag: worry

  • My Husband Goes Back to School This Week

    My husband is a special education teacher and he starts back to work this week. Even though covid rates have been rising in the area and many schools near here who opened earlier have already had to close down due to spreading coronavirus cases, my husband’s school is still opening at full capacity, full-time. I’ll […]

  • Are You Worried About Coronavirus?

    I was just curious how many of my blog readers are concerned at all about the Coronavirus (or Covid 19 as the WHO named it). I am moderately concerned. It certainly spreads rapidly (54 countries last I heard), has a very high rate of transmission from person to person compared to many other viruses, definitely […]

  • Poetry – Let Me Try Not to Think

    Let me try not to think. I want to remain dimly conscious of the fact that the bravest man amongst us will never overcome the innate fear he harbors towards himself.

  • Things I Worry About

    Are we destroying this planet to the point that it will be unable to sustain life? Will our arrogance, perpetual fighting and greed end up in our mutual destruction? Are we a foolish race causing our own eventual extinction? Did any of the narcissistic abuse of my childhood rub off on me? Am I narcissistic? […]

  • Nervous About My First Gastroscopy

    Tomorrow I have my first ever upper gastrointestinal endoscopy scheduled. I’m super nervous about it. My biggest fear is that the anesthesia won’t fully knock me out and I will be conscious during it. I also worry about the possibility of the anesthesia wearing off early and waking up during it. I almost wish it […]

  • Afraid of Living

    I am not afraid to die – but I am not yet unafraid of living. I’m not sure I have ever written truer words than the 3-line poem above. This little gem came to me while taking a bath last night, so I repeated it to myself like a mantra until I got out of […]

  • Bad Flare Up After Car Broke Down

    Feeling like shit today. Woke up after sleeping 10-11 hours, ate breakfast, and then went to take a nap for another couple of hours. So, why am I so exhausted and feeling like I got run over by a steamroller? Well, yesterday my husband was driving home from work when a tire fell off his […]

  • SSDI Hearing Update

    Sorry I didn’t update you all yesterday after the hearing, but I was just too exhausted mentally, emotionally, and physically after the stress of the day. Overall, I think the hearing went ok. It didn’t start out very well since my husband and I had trouble locating the right building and ended up walking through […]

  • Worries about My SSDI Hearing Tomorrow

    Tomorrow morning is my SSDI hearing. I’m super anxious about it. I feel a little nauseated just thinking about it. I’m afraid I’ll do or say the wrong thing. I’m afraid I’ll burst into tears and feel embarrassed. I’m afraid I’ll somehow misrepresent my reality. I’m afraid the judge will say no and ruin my […]

  • Poetry: Paper Doll

    I’m a paper doll with third degree burns. Dress me up, make me pretty, and please, simply ignore all the raw, peeling flesh falling onto the floor. (Poetry by Maranda Russell, marandarussell.com)