How Crazy Am I?

Art by Maranda Russell

*I wrote this fun little poem while sitting at Burger King, eating my hamburger and onion rings. It just kind of “came” to me lol. It is meant to be cynically humorous, hopefully it is.

How Crazy Am I?

I don’t know
a 10?
Nah…
I ain’t THAT fucking
insane.

A 9?
Well, I’m not
quite drooling
on myself yet…
at least not
on a regular basis.

An 8?
That sounds about
right, but
over the years
I’ve learned
if something sounds right
it almost never is.

7?
Lucky seven?
I sure ain’t
been lucky
in this life,
or any other.

6?
Sure, let’s just
settle on six.
Because really,
who gives a shit
anyhow?
And I’m tired
of counting.

– Art and Poetry by Maranda Russell

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Two Haiku for You

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I have found myself
at a loss for words, but here
they come anyhow…

All the lighthouses!
All the lighthouses!
Yet there’s no light to be found.
Pointless monuments!

(Yes, I know the second one is irregular form, but I felt it sounded better with the first line repeated, so I broke the rules!)

Life is Pain

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Life is pain.

And I don’t mean that
in some philosophical
bullshit way…(or maybe I do?)

Life is pain, whether it
be physical, mental,
emotional, or existential.

The gentle yearning ache
of a heart perpetually unfulfilled…

The bittersweet bile of nostalgia
creeping up one’s throat…

The sharp bite of our
unreliably aging bones…

The mind-numbing weight
of each day survived intact…

The desperate call of a soul
that may or may not actually exist…

~ Maranda Russell

Forever Intertwined

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Does the popcorn
make the movie
and the beer
make the bar?

When you
willfully separate
that which has been
forever intertwined,
does the sum of its parts
create something new
or do you simply
destroy
all parties involved?

~ Maranda Russell

Relationship PTSD

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Everywhere I go
I fear I’ll find you.
I skulk around the edge
of each aisle,
scanning faces
to make sure it is safe.
I play out
our fearfully planned reunion
again and again
in my mind.

When the inevitable collision
happens, I consider
speaking Spanish
or pretending I don’t know you.
In every scenario
you see past the lie,
but you don’t always
call me out on it.

Instead, you give me
that knowing smirk
(the one I hate so much),
turn your head
and walk on by –
leaving me convinced
that a knock-down, drag-out
confrontation
might have been better
in the end.

~ Maranda Russell

Courage

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It takes courage
to face each new day.
To wake up and say,
“I’m not giving up.
Not today.
Not tomorrow.
Never.
I’m in this thing
for the long haul.”

~ Maranda Russell