Funny Weird Dream

I had a dream that I was in the bath tub when a big, fuzzy black spider jumps into the bath with me. I decide to get rid of it by draining the water, making sure the spider goes down the drain.

I think the spider is dead and gone and get out of the bath, but then I hear a female voice singing “We Shall Overcome” from what sounds like a long distance away. I follow the sound to the drain and watch as the spider slowly climbs up and out of the drain, still singing about overcoming.

Short monologue – Time traveler

Why am I leaving?

No, I’m not traveling back in time to stop Hitler.

Nope, not Mao either.

Yeah, that whole holocaust thing was a disaster, but that’s not my assignment.

Nope, I’m not allowed to save JFK or MLK, even if I’d love to meet those two.

Yes, stopping slavery earlier would be noble, as would working to prevent the coming climate disaster.

Unfortunately, I’m being paid to go mess with history for one reason and one reason only…to stop the discontinuation of Cap’n Crunch Choco Donuts. Bezos loves his cereal.

Flash fiction – red roses

Red roses. A sign of romantic interest, elegant sensuality, and passionate love.

Yes, I have received red roses, but mine weren’t accompanied by affection, butterflies fluttering around my stomach, or flirtatious kisses and caresses.

Mine came with feminine shame, a statement of sexual entitlement, and a paranoia I just can’t shake. I fear I see him in the cereal aisle while picking out my Cheerios. I peek over my shoulder again and again as I walk the driveway to my mailbox. I wake in the predawn, still riding the waves of a nightmare that bleeds into waking reality.

All because of red roses.